2 more days until PUPO

Well, just two more days to go until I'm officially PUPO and starting the 2ww.
I'm so anxious and excited for this day to come. It seems like I have been waiting for an eternity for it to be "the day" and it's just within sight!
I have chosen to take my last vacation day tomorrow so that I can get some things done around the house before I am sentenced to bed rest and closely monitored by my loving husband who is serious when he says..."stay in bed and don't even think of getting out of it for 3 days!" Coming from the same man who sat across the desk of the doctor and asked if I should have a bed pan while on bed rest! YES, I AM SERIOUS!       GOD LOVE HIM~!

So, here we are, waiting for the call from the nurse letting me know how my little ziggies (as Ken calls them) are doing since thaw. Praying that they are growing good and strong for the big trip into my long awaiting womb! Thankfully we have two beautiful AA blasts that will be back up if there aren't good qualities from the zygotes. I'm just keeping that positive thought process going and telling myself that "This is IT!"

We did get some great news on Monday when my co-worker who is roughly 2 weeks ahead of me in this whole ugly IVF process declares her beautiful BETA results....POSITIVE...Beta of 760!!! I'm just so over joyed for her and constantly thinking of how it will be around the office with 2 pregnant women! What are all these men going to do? haha!

I am also looking forward to that massage I have scheduled Friday morning before transfer. Some women choose to do accupuncture before their transfers, but for me...my idea of relaxing is to get a nice massage. I'm so looking forward to getting some pampering in. I mean let me just say that after all of this infertilit stuff, and having to take injections and medications and doctor visits...I think that some pampering is in order!

Anyway, I have decided to take a hiatus from Facebook during my 2 week wait because I know that there is going to be a lot of temptation for me to POAS and share the results...but there are just some people I don't want to share that information with through Facebook. I think it needs to be a little more personal than that. Once those people know...then I will be back on FB and sharing the news; hopefully GOOD news at that! BUT, while I am on the break from FB, I will be blogging (both reading and posting) because I love it...and I think it will help me keep some of my sanity!

Until next time~

10 More Days and Christmas is even sooner than that!

It is so hard to believe that we are only about 10 days or so away from our FET! I am getting anxious and nervous, worried and excited all at the same time!
It seems like I have been waiting my whole life just for this time, and I don't even know how to take it all in, but trust me, I want to take it all in and experience it all.
I'm up to the 4 patches of estrogen, changing them every other day. I have little sticky squares all over my tummy from where the previous patches were and I'm having a hard time getting it all off. I've tried everything and in return I've just been rubbing myself raw. At this point I have just told Ken that I will wait and get it all off at once (that is if I can find something that is safe for skin that WILL get it all off).
I thought I had done good with not catching any type of cold bug this flu season, especially seeing as everyone around me seems to have gotten something over the past several weeks...then this morning I wake up and I have that "scrachy" feeling in my throat, and I just know that something is coming around the bend! I haven't done any Vlogs in quite some time; I know, I know...I really thought that I would, but things have just been so incredibly crazy over the past several weeks/months that I just haven't gotten the time or the energy to go through all of that. Besides, I haven't even gotten a tripod yet for the camera, but maybe Santa will bring me one since I have been talking about getting one for months now.
That's another subject. Christmas is only 4 days away now, and my dad is up from FL visiting and I have been constantly in the kitchen baking and still haven't gotten ALL of my Christmas shopping done. I feel horrible that I haven't bought my husband a gift yet, but to be completely honest...I'm keeping faith and praying that our Christmas present shows up about mid January with a great big BFP!
Anyway, it's back to the RE on Thursday morning for an U/S and blood work, and I'm hoping that everything is progressing well. I'm still a little nervous about the fibroid, but then again, if the doctor's aren't worried then I'm not going to worry too much.
I do hope that you all have a safe and happy Christmas season. Enjoy this time with family and friends...enjoy the good food!

Well...I'm on the Patch!

So, I'm plugging along, and on "The Patch"...the Estrogen patch that is.
I had a what I guess would be considered a "baseline" ultrasound and blood work on Sunday, Dec. 12th. The fibroid that the RE noticed on my two week check after Egg Retrieval is still there, and measuring somewhere around 31mm, at least I think that's what the doctor said who did my ultrasound Sunday. I was a little concerned about that, cause my fear is that it would hinder any implantation from the FET, but...I guess it doesn't concern any of the doctors and we were instructed to move forward.

See all the medication I will be on from here on out, some even well after the transfer until a positive pregnancy test!!
One of which is the patches that I got to start on Sunday evening!

These patches are going to be tricky I think. I start with one a day then every other day I take the patch(es) off and add another up until I have 4 at a time on which I will wear until a positive pregnancy test. Let me tell you, they are sticky little boogers.

I won't be going back in to the doctor until Dec. 23rd and then the real fun begins. I will start the pills (antibiotics, steroid and something else) and on Christmas day I will start the Progesterone in Oil injections!

Do you see the size of that needle? Since these are intramuscular injections, Ken will have to stick those in every day, and let's just say I'm not super excited about that.

Well, that's just a quick update. Christmas is drawing closer, my dad will be here for a visit in just a couple short days and I have SO MUCH TO DO!

In the midst of IVF #1

As I sit here watching Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, I can't help but think of so many wonderful childhood memories watching those old Christmas classics, and wonder if next Christmas I will be watching movies like this with my little one.

I know there are lots to catch everyone up on, as I have not blogged in months, but seriously...life has just taken me one roller coaster ride after another. Let's see, we had 3 failed IUI attempts, and let me just tell you that I have beaten myself up over wondering why they didn't work. To be quite honest, it's really amazing to me now, after all that I have gone through and what I have researched, that anyone is ever able to "just get pregnant" by accident. I mean, just watching "The Great Sperm Race" proves just how much of a miracle the miracle of life really is. (see part 1 of 6 below).



Anyway, after those 3 failed attempts, we decided to move forward more aggressively to IVF, and trust me, no matter how hard I researched and thought I had prepared myself, I had no idea what I was beginning to get myself into. For example, I had researched so much into the difference between 3 day transfers versus 5 day transfers, and Ken and I had decided that we were going to push for a 5 day transfer, or 5dt.

After meeting with our RE, we soon found out that all our eggs would be frozen for a later transfer or FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). With being a PCOS gal, the doctor was super afraid of me developing OHSS and research had shown a greater success for doing the FET, as much as increasing our chances a whole 20%.

The plan; freeze 1/2 of our embies as zygotes and let the rest grow to blast stage (5 days) and then freeze those that are viable. I took Gonal F for stimming, Low Dose HCG daily and then did an injection of 80units of Lupron for my trigger  prior to retrieval, which was November 10th at 9:30am.

The retrieval; not much to really say about this, as it was such a breeze. By this day though, I was totally uncomfortable with bloating and what felt like water retention. I began to worry about OHSS, but thankfully never developed it. Anyhow, I was given the "Michael Jackson drug" and was out like a light. When I woke up, I was in recovery. I asked the nurse how long I had been out....10 minutes. It felt like I had been sleeping for 10 hours, not 10 minutes. While I had my retrieval, Ken went to give his "sample" for our eggies to fertilize. By the time we left, we were told they got 26 eggs~~!! The nurse said she had never heard of them getting that many from a patient before...that's me, a RECORD setter. Although the day of retrieval was not feeling much pain, most in part due to the great medications given to me...however, the following several days were not too fun. I was severly bloated and every move was uncomfortable, but thankfully...NO OHSS! I was amazed, as was the doctor.

First Fert. Report; the following day we got a call from the RE. 23 of the 26 were mature, but we lost 6 due to an error on the Embryologists part. Apparently he had injected those 6 eggs with 2 sperm, which nulls those eggs. That left us with 17 fertilized eggs, so 9 were frozen as zygotes on this day, and 8 were left to grow to blasts. By the 5th day, only 2 had made it, but they were graded AA (the best possible grade). They froze those 2 giving us 11 in storage.

Fast forward 2 weeks from retrieval, November 24th. I went to see the RE for a recheck and see how my ovaries were doing. They were still large, and he noticed a fibroid, but nothing that concerned him, and gave me the ok to move forward with doing FET, which is tentatively set for Dec 30th. I was shocked though to find out that instead of transferring the blasts, he is going to thaw the zygotes, all 9 of them, 4 days prior to the transfer and let them grow to blasts, then transfer two of the best. If by chance they aren't viable by then, the blasts will be thawed and transferred instead.

So....that's the update, in a nut shell. I have one week left on BCPs, and I'm currently on Lupron (10 units daily), and then back around Dec. 12th for an ultrasound and blood work to see if we can start the Estrogen patches and the rest of this list of meds that I will be taking to prepare my "oven" for the "biscuits".

5 days down...too many more to count!

Today was 5dpIUI.
This 2 week wait is really going to be hard...because this time, more than ever before, I really believe that I'm pregnant! I know it is early...too early to know anything, but I just feel differently. Of course with the good timing and count, it just seems like we just hit the nail right on the head this cycle.
Yesterday and today I have had this weird metallic/acid taste in the back of my throat. Nothing like acid reflux, although I have never had it, DH has and according to him, it's nothing like that.
Surprisingly enough, HE is the one consulting with Dr. Google on my symptoms to see what he can find and wouldn't you know it, there are several forums that mention this as an early sign of pregnancy! REALLY? Even one of the recent pregnant ladies on FT even said that she started noticing that around week 4 and that it comes and goes. Yes I thought, it comes and goes with me too. I am feeling what is hard to explain as either serious bloating or feeling overly stuffed...like I sat down at the table and had too much to eat. And looking at me, you would think that too, considering that I have put on quite a bit of weight with the IF medications I have loaded myself with over the past 4 months or so. BUT TRUST ME, IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT!!
I guess tomorrow you would consider me halfway done with this long and dreaded 2ww, but I just see it as several days before truly knowing yes or no. The nurse said I should not test before Tuesday, the 7th of Sept...but DH's birthday is the 6th (what timing, I know). So, my thought process is to POAS on Sunday the 5th which would be 12 days past trigger and 10 days past IUI. It's a starting point anyway, and I will continue to test every day there after until my BFP....I just know it's gotta be a BFP this month!

IUI #3...done and on the road to our BFP!

Well, IUI is DONE! Just one this time instead of the back to back 2 I have had the past two cycles.  I gave myself the Ovidrel trigger Tuesday night at 6pm exactly and Wednesday night the OPK was a strong ++ before the control line even showed up (GREAT SIGN). The morning of the IUI (Thursday) I did another OPK which was still a strong ++ and a HPT which thankfully had the faint + line as well (due to the Ovidrel injection). My plan is to take a HPT every day until the Ovidrel is out of my system which should be 10 days!
Everything was different this time around during the procedure as well. For starters, they wanted me to have a full bladder for my IUI as it would help with the placement of the catheter through the cervix. Trust me, I took DR C serious when he asked me to do that. I thought I would pop before I ever got back to the exam room. My normal nurse wasn't in, and trust me, I missed her dearly. Normally she will leave the lights off and let me lay down as long as I would like and she is just always so caring. I really love her.
Anyway, the interesting thing that was different this go around was that they did an ultrasound guided IUI. The nurse did an abdominal ultrasound as the doctor inserted the catheter. I actually got to see the little guy be injected into my uterus and start swimming...AMAZING!
As for DH's numbers this month...they were back where they needed to be with 17mm post wash and 90% motility. I wish I could have stayed laying longer than 10 minutes, but I had to relieve my bladder before it started cramping (the nurse said that would be counter productive). I quickly got dressed and hit the restroom before checking out. The doctor was really impressed with the procedure (bloodwork and SC) and instructed us to just do the BD and take a test on Sept. 7th. BUT...since the 6th is DH's birthday, I hope to have a BFP on a HPT a day early so he can get the greatest birthday present.
BTW, we did not do the deed last night (night of IUI)...and I was really REALLY upset about that, but I still have faith that this is going to be it...

STAY TUNED

Cycle days flash by and a death in the middle of it all...

Lots and LOTS to catch up on!


I’m sorry I have been MIA for a while, but so much has happened. My sister Dimples’ husband died unexpectedly. Yes, you read right, I said Dimples. Her real name is Francis, but for as long as I can remember, she has always been known as Dimples. Anyway, he died very unexpectedly and DH and I had to make a trip to Kentucky for the funeral. Very quick trip, but it was nice to see family for a little while even though the situation that brought us together wasn’t a good one.

As far as the IF journey is concerned, I had a doctor appointment on CD10 this cycle instead of CD12, so Friday, Aug. 20th was my appointment. Ultra sound only showed one measurable follie at 16mm on my right ovary and everything else was less than 10mm. I was shocked to hear that the large follicle was on my right since typically the ovaries switch back and forth, and last cycle the right was my dominant one holding 3 mature follicles. Instructions from the doctor were to continue to take the Follistim for the next 4 nights at the same dosage (50iu) and then return on Tuesday the 24th (CD14) for a follow up. That appointment was this morning, and what a great and amazing report it was!!

This morning I had a 22 and 20mm on my right (I guess the 22 was the 16 from Friday), and of course PCOS…no big shocker there. The shocker was the 26mm that was measured in my LEFT ovary, which was not there on Friday! Now, some might say that the doctor must have just missed that on Friday’s ultra sound, but I’m not one of those people…I know that God is right in the midst of all of this, and HE grew that follicle. I’m praying that it just might hold my miracle egg that will lead to my miracle child.

Instructions this time are to trigger with Ovidrel tonight at 6pm and then return on Thursday the 26th for my IUI. I’m praying that IUI#3 is the lucky charm, but I’m giving this all up to the Lord, for I know that He will give me the desires of my heart. I just have a hard time waiting for HIS time.

As for my other sisters in fertility, there have been a lot of BFP’s this month, and I am so incredibly happy for each one of them. I keep them in my prayers and thoughts daily, and although my heart is a little heavy with the desperation that I wish it was me…Oh how I wish it was me. I am generally ecstatic for each of them and their success. I can’t wait to join the crowd…in just a little of 2 weeks!

CD2, and we're ready!

As CD2 rolled in this morning, I was really expecting another heavy day (yesterday was horrible) and yet thankfully so far, so good. So far I have not had any where near the cramping I had last cycle, and I am so thankful for that. Last month was a bear for me, and I can only think it was because I had gone so long without actually having break-thru bleeding. I'm doing a lot of reflecting and focusing on what I should attempt to do differently this go around, and I'm still struggling with what would be best for the BFP I long for.
After speaking with the nurse yesterday about DH's CSA that was done last week, I am completely relieved that it must have just been the crud he had come down with around the time of our IUI's that caused his motility to drop so drastically. His count was up to 52 mil swimmers which was 26 mil/ml and his motility had gone back up to about 65%!! PRAISE THE LORD!
Yesterday I did some research online into some helpful supplements that he should be taking, some of which he was already taking and some that we decided we would add into the mix. So, off we went on our little field trip to the Vitamin Shoppe with my list in hand. It was so cute seeing how interested he was in getting exactly what he needed to get to make his soldiers a little stronger for their upcoming adventure! So, his supplements are now: L-Carnitine 500mg 3xday, CoQ-10 100mg 2xday, and a multi-vitamin from Vitamin Shoppe called Max-Sorb for men which has the RDA of Vitamin E, C, B12 as well as Selenium, Zinc, Chromium and other wonderful extras. The RE will also be having him start a 10 day regime of antibiotic (Cipro) starting tomorrow, CD3...
Tomorrow it's back to the doctor, and I can't wait to get this under-way. I just can't wait to get that BFP surprise for my sweetie's birthday, which happens to be labor day this year.

Here we go again....attempt #3

I know I have been absent for several weeks, and I apologize for those that come in frenquent to catch up on what's going on, but things have been so busy at our house and with our fertility journey. We put the house on the market a few weeks ago, and IUI #2 kept us on our toes. Unfortunately we were not so lucky with numbers...on DH's part. As for me, I responded marvelous this go around, producing 3 mature follies ranging in sizes 20-24. Then time for the IUI DH's motility was a sad sad 5%!!! That's right, no mis-type. It went from 100% to 5%. He had been sick for about 2 weeks leading up to IUI, and obviously it took such a toll on his "boys".

FAST FORWARD ----
Today is now CD1 for IUI attempt #3. I called the nurse to schedule my appointment and found out that the CSA that they did on DH last week (after our BFN from IUI#2). Seems like DH is back to where he needs to be with a marvelous count and good motility. Tonight the plan is to run to Vitamin Shoppe and get him stocked up on the supplements he needs to take and then in for CD3 ultrasound and blood work on Friday morning. Here's praying that #3 will be our lucky charm and we will finally get our BFP for my honey's birthday!

Stay tuned!

IUI #1...BFN, but keeping my eyes UP!

I know, I know..lots to catch up on.


We went in on Tuesday last week to have a BETA done, and sadly it was negative. NOT PREGNANT. It was very sad for me, but even more so for poor DH. He was so sure that we were pregnant, that when I had to break the news to him, he was pretty much devastated. It broke my heart because his heart was breaking. AND, once again, I felt like I was such a broken woman. I felt like all the numbers were in our favor, but yet I just couldn’t get the prize…a beautiful baby.

When the nurse called to give me the news, I asked her how long I should wait if I had not started AF on my own. I really didn’t want to have to go this route again, but I just didn’t want to be sitting around waiting for weeks if it didn’t show its ugly face. She said that if I had not started to have a period by Monday, then I should call and we would decide then if I needed to have a prescription to bring on AF again.

I prayed…I prayed to God that he would let my body work right and that AF would arrive on its own without any medication or manipulation. I prayed that God would forgive me for rushing His time last cycle. I prayed that with his grace and mercy he would prepare my body for another round of pills, injections and medical intervention and assistance to ovulate and conceive a beautiful healthy baby.

God answered my prayers! Friday morning on my way to work I had some alone time, just me and God. Again I prayed to bring me AF, and about an hour after arriving to work…it came. THANK THE LORD. It sound so weird praying for that, and being thankful when it arrives, but believe me…I was thankful.

Sunday was CD3, so off to the RE we went for the usual…ultrasound and blood work. We got the call that everything looked good, and we were told to start the same regime as last time; 5mg of Femara for 5 days (CD3-CD7), start 50iu of Follistim on Wednesday and take that from CD6-CD12 and then return on CD12 for follow up blood work and ultrasound.

I’m keeping my faith, as always, and staying very optimistic that this will be the one for us. As I mentioned earlier; when I apologized to God for rushing him…I feel that I did. When I took the prometrium last cycle to try and bring on AF, and then AF never arrived but we went ahead with treatment as though it did. I am truly believing that it was not in God’s time, and I should have realized then and listened then. I’m praying that since my cycle started on its own this time, that it’s a good sign of what’s to come.

I’ll keep you posted!

8dpiui #1; 7dpiui #2 ~ And it's 4th of July weekend~

It’s Friday~ and I’m so glad that it is. I have a 3 day weekend looking me in the eye, and only 4 days left of this LONG wait. I’m so thankful that I haven’t completely driven myself out of my mind while waiting until I can know something. I will admit though that I have wondered if certain things I was doing or feeling were an early sign of pregnancy…but I haven’t been over doing it. I don’t think…my DH might say something else. haha


I’m looking forward to spending a nice weekend with DH and his parents. We usually always go to their home one day out of the weekend and enjoy the time with them. It is so relaxing and stress-free, which is definitely what I am seeking.

7dpiui #1; 6dpiui #2 ~ 5 more days to go!

I'm still having a postive outlook on this. Yesterday I was  making several trips to the restroom...probably once every hour to hour and half. I am not sure if it's an early symptom or not, but I can assure you that it is not normal for me to go that often. I can also assure you that I didn't have a lot of fluids yesterday. It was also actually pretty sweet last night...my little Savannah (my malti-poo) was wanting to lay on my tummy last night while I was laying in bed watching TV. She normally doesn't do that either, because she feels like she is being held down (even when I'm not touching her). They say that animals have a keen sense about women being pregnant, so I don't know about that either. You tell me. All of these things are keeping me quite positive. It's hard to believe that I am over half way through my waiting period. It's going to be a busy weekend with the 4th of July holiday, so that will be good.

I'll keep you updated with any other changes or symptoms.

6dpiui #1 ; 5dpiui #2 ~ Feeling GREAT!

It’s Wednesday! I have less than a week until I find out either the best news of my life or the worst. Ok, maybe it won’t be the WORST, but it will definitely be a sad day if I don’t hear “CONGRATULATIONS!”


Monday was my first day of starting the progesterone gel suppository (vaginal). Thankfully I only have to do that every other morning for now, because it’s not a very pleasant experience…but as I have said all along; “I’m not complaining about any of this!” The nurse did tell me however, that when I get a positive pregnancy test, I will be put on a stronger progesterone suppository…YAY! (sense the sarcasm) But hey, whatever…and I do mean WHATEVER it takes to be successful and have a beautiful healthy full term baby…we WILL do it!

Yesterday was probably one of the first days that I felt that I could possibly be pregnant. I was constantly hungry and ate more than I ever eat in one day. I went home for lunch and had 4 slices of left over pizza, a tomato sliced up and several (I don’t even want to know how many) Oreo cookies, along with two full glasses of milk. Then at dinner we met my dad and I ate an entire 12 oz ribeye steak, salad, and baked potato. Again, that is not normal for me. Today when I woke up I had a bit of cotton mouth (weird thing was, DH did too)! On my way to work I stopped for some biscuits and gravy at Hardee’s…YES, HUNGRY AGAIN! Then I think to myself, this can’t be an early pregnancy symptom, because today just marks 6dpiui. It takes 6-10 days for the little fertilized bean to make its way down the fallopian tubes and snuggle in nicely. Your body doesn’t know it’s pregnant until implantation…right? RIGHT?

Dear Lord, please let there be a little bean in there ready to find a cushy place to settle in and grow nice and strong.

Anyway, over the past few days DH and I have been discussing baby names. We both have a strong feeling that we will have a little girl, but trust me; as long as it’s healthy the sex doesn’t matter to us!! But last night over dinner we were discussing names with my dad to get his thoughts and opinions on names. We told him our two top picks (right now anyway), and he didn’t seem to like either of them. I am very set on the middle name GRACE. It was because of God’s Grace that we are even together and in love and making a little one, so that is going to be her middle name (if in fact she is a she). We have tossed around several names, but right now we like Miranda Grace and Isabella Grace.

I have to admit that I’m starting to have that feeling: “if this doesn’t happen I’m going to let EVERYONE down!” We have so many people praying and supporting us through this journey, that I just don’t want to let them down. I definitely don’t want to let DH down. He has been my source of strength and faith. I am so blessed to have him as my partner not only through this, but in life as well.

Well, that’s it for now…let’s see how I feel tomorrow.

A Busy Week

Sorry for no blog update last week. It was kind of a crazy few days for me. Monday was CD12, so first visit into the doctor since CD3 to check b/w and u/s to see how I have progressed. I was sure I heard the doctor (not my doctor, but another doctor in the practice) say I had a 19 on my left and a 13 and 15 on my right. I would have bet money that those were the numbers she said. She said that depending on the results of my b/w I would take 2 more days of the Follistim injections and then come back on Wednesday for more b/w and another u/s. Later that day I got a call from the nurse saying that I was to keep taking the same dose of the Follistim (50iu) Mon & Tues nights and come back on Wednesday.


Tuesday came and it was not a good day for me. I started feeling nauseous and dizzy before ever leaving the house for work. I lasted about 2 hours and then had to have Jennifer and Angie get me home (one driving me in my car, the other following). I spent the remainder of the day in bed or by the toilet praising the porcelain god. I was wondering how I would ever manage to give myself the injection…but I did. Around 10:30pm I did an OPK (I’ve been doing them every night since CD9). Believe it or not, it came up positive. All I could think about was that I was going to miss my “chance” this cycle since the kit came up positive.

Wednesday morning came around and I asked DH to go with me to the doctor’s office just in case they wanted to have a sample because of my +OPK. After my own doctor did my u/s, he said that he had to wait for b/w to confirm, but I had not in fact ovulated yet, but was very close by the looks of my u/s. He said I had a 20 on my left (the 19 I guess only grew a little), but he said all on my right were under 10!! That really confused me since just on Monday the other doctor said I had a 13 and 15!! But my lining that was at 7 on Monday was now at 9, which was really good. He said that it looked like I would be coming in on Thursday for my IUI. He also said that since my body was ovulation on its own, I would not need to do the Ovidrel injection to induce ovulation!

Thursday morning DH and I were at the doctor’s office bright and early (first one’s there)!! I had taken the day off so that I could go home after my procedure and just lay down. I figured it couldn’t hurt anything…right? At 11am Thursday morning the doctor gave me my 1st ever IUI. DH had 19mm post wash little guys and 95% motility! GREAT NUMBERS…according to the doctor, anything over 10mm and 60% motility is good. The only down side was that my progesterone (the level showing ovulation) was only at .77 and it should be between 1-3. He gave us two options, to do the BD that night, or come in the following day for another IUI. The choice was OBVIOUS! We would come back Friday for another shot to double our chances.

Friday morning once again we were at the doctor’s office before anyone else. I gave more blood and DH gave more of himself! I didn’t take this day off, so I had to leave work and drive to the doctor’s to be there at 11 again. Today’s numbers were even better…27mm and 100% motility! I just couldn’t believe that his numbers went up given that he had just given his sample the day before. It was a GOD thing!

Today is Monday, 4 dpiui#1 and3 dpiui#2. I am doing a lot of praying and keeping an upbeat attitude. I’m giving God all the glory and praise. I can’t believe that on July 6th I could get the best news of my life!

CD12...What Next?

Well, this morning was my CD12 visit to the RE which included bloodwork and an ultra sound to see how my follicles have reacted to the medication. I was a little nervous and anxious as to what the plan would be from this point forward. As the doctor was doing my ultra sound, I heard her say "7" which I am thinking was my uterine lining thickness. She then said I had a 19mm in my left ovary and a 15mm and 13mm in my right ovary. She seemed hopeful and told me that things were "progressing nicely", but I wasn't quite there yet. Six and 1/2 hours later I got the call from the nurse as to what to do now. Looks like I will be taking 2 more injections of the follistim at the same dosage (50iu) tonight and tomorrow night. I then go in on Wednesday for another follow up appointment for more bloodwork and ultra sound.
If things progress as they are, then I should be looking at doing my IUI possibly Friday which is a good day, because then I can relax all weekend.
I've also come to the conclusion that I will stay away from the message boards, like Fertile Thoughts while I'm on my 2ww. I know it is going to be hard, but I am so analytical and I read into everything, that it would just not do me any good to be on there every day like I am now.
I'll be back with a follow up on Wednesday.

The Difference Between 2 Shots

Tuesday night was my 1st shot of Follistim. In the morning I wasn't so worried or nervous but as the day went on and the hours flew by the anxiety started to sink in. I don't know if it was a mix of the anxiety or something else, but while we were on our way to meet dad for dinner, I suddenly got very dizzy. I was feeling like I was on that old fair ride The Gravatron (do you remember that ride?) I reclined the seat and closed my eyes hoping that would help, but it didn't seem to do the trick. I felt weird for the rest of the drive. Even thinking about it now makes me feel queasy. Thankfully when we started to eat dinner I felt a little better. Who knows, maybe my body was telling me it was time to give it some nourishment.
Since my shot had to be given at 8pm, and we were in the car on our way home...I had to give myself the shot while riding in the car. I was so nervous and anxious that I was holding the injection pen and ready to shoot 10 minutes before 8!! When it finally came time to do it, I stuck it in my tummy and realized I never set the dosage dial....HELLO...boy did I feel stupid!
Anyway, after setting the dosage dial, I stuck it in again and it was a piece of cake! I felt so proud of myself for giving myself this injection that was going to help us become pregnant. I really felt on top of the world.
That feeling didn't last long though....
Within 15 minutes I was feeling loopy and not myself. DH actually said that I sounded like I was drunk. I think that he is just saying that though, because I don't recall that being the case. Then I started to feel very tired. When I got home, I changed clothes and crawled into bed. For the next hour and 1/2 I could  not get comfortable. I wanted to lay on my side, and I couldn't. I'd lay on my back then I'd get a sharp pain in my right side, but it would only last a few seconds. A few minutes later I would get a sharp pain on my left side that would only last a few seconds. FINALLY, I fell asleep...thank goodness!
Frankly I started to think that this was God's way of saying...."your dosage is enough, don't question the doctors and most of all, don't question what I can do!" You see, since Saturday when they gave me my dosage information, I had been struggling with it, I just didn't think it was "enough" to do the job. Now I know, that I shouldn't question what I am being told in regards to this medicine!

Last night's injection went so much smoother. No reaction at all. I was so thankful to Him. Since the start of this journey I have given it all to Him, except for Saturday-Tuesday when I was questioning this medicine dosage. He showed me I needed to trust in Him again. To have FAITH! This little baby will be our miracle from Him, and we have FAITH that we will be greatly blessed.

I have 4 more nights of injections, but I can handle it. I just keep praying that those little "follies" grow and become strong eggs for.

Update...the ride has started!

Ok, once again I know that I have slacked on updating this, but I have just had so much going on. I have got to manage my time better.


Anyway, I WAS able to get into the RE’s office this past Saturday morning for blood work and an ultra sound. Everything looked good and I stared my Femara (5mg) Saturday evening. I will take that for 5 days, making Weds. my last night of that medication (CD3-CD7). I start 50ui of Follistim on Tuesday night (tonight). The nurse said that it was very important that I take my injection at 8pm every night for 6 nights. That would be Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I go back in on Monday, June 21st which is CD 12 to see how I have progressed with the medication. I have to admit, I have been driving myself crazy about what seems to be a low dose of Follistim because just about everywhere I have read women usually start out at 75ui for six days. This was driving me nuts so bad that I called the nurse yesterday just to make sure of the dosage. The nurse confirmed that I was definitely supposed to only take the 50 due to my PCOS. They don’t want to risk the chance of me over stimulating. I have to admit, I’m kind of hesitant about this. She did say that if after my ultrasound and blood work on Monday it looked as though I needed more, then I would be put on more Follistim at that point. Goodness, I hope not. I want to be ready at the right time.

Anyway, I have been taking the Femara for 3 days now, and let me just say that this is SOOO much better than the Clomid ever was. I don’t have any of the bad side effects I had when taking the Clomid. I pray that all of this is going to do the trick.

I’ll keep you posted!

Now they tell me

Ok, so this past Wednesday was 6 days past stopping the Prometrium and I had still no breakthrough bleeding. To my surprise, Aunt Flo had not shown her ugly face, and for once, I was really hoping and praying to see her. I was actually a little concerned, so I gave the nurse at the RE's office a call to see what she suggested. While I had her on the phone, I also mentioned the fact that I had been extremely tired and been having some rise in my temps at night. I told her that it wasn't anything I was too concerned with. I had expected that it was probably due to the prometrium, since progesterone is known to have that effect on some people. She was a little  concerned that my AF had not arrived as well. Matter of fact, her exact words were, "if it was going to work, you would have had your bleeding start by day 5". HELLO, this was day 6 and there was no sign of anything happening! She suggested that I take a HPT, (what??? I knew there was no way possible for this), and that if I had not started by Sunday, to come in on Monday at 7am and they would do bloodwork and ultra sound. If my values were all baseline, then they would consider that as though it was CD3, and I would start my Femara and the rest of the regimen. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I don't have to actually have a period to start the IUI process? If this is the case, why did they even bother putting me on the Prometrium to begin with? I totally feel like I have lost over 14 days of time while I was on that stupid progesterone to begin with.
I've spent the past two days kind of researching this, and it seems like there are other women who have gone through this as well. So, I guess that eases a little of my doubts and worries, but I'm still kind of boggled by the whole thought of getting starting while no actually on a period.
Anyway, I actually called the nurse this afternoon and left a message asking if I can possibly come in tomorrow morning (Saturday) to have my  u/s and bw done. I know it's just jumping ahead a couple of days, but I just don't want to risk the chance of missing the right window. I'll update and let you know if I go tomorrow instead of Monday.

Just a little update and an awakening!

I’m sorry that I have not updated my blog in a couple days, but it always seems that the weekend gets the best of me. Saturday and Sunday are the two days I have to catch up on things around the house that got neglected or passed on during the week. I’ll be honest, when I work all day and come home…you are lucky to get a dinner and a clean kitchen after that. I just don’t have the energy or “want to” to get up and clean the house or work in the yard or do laundry. I especially don’t have that energy while taking some of this medicine.


Anyway, Thursday night I took my last pill of Prometrium. I thought that once I stopped that the high temps would stop and the fatigue would stop too. I also figured that AF would arrive by Sunday…wishful thinking I guess. It’s now Monday morning, and still no sign of AF. Saturday night I had a little bit of cramping in my lower back and sides. I thought that was a good sign that Mother Nature was about to make her appearance…but I think she was playing games with me, or something else was causing the cramps because I don’t normally have them, even when AF is approaching.

My Sunday School teacher (it’s called Life Group at my church) was really preaching his message to me today. I felt over-come and had to wipe back the tears several times because I felt that the Lord was using him to speak to me, and I spent the rest of the day thanking the Lord for telling me what I needed to hear. The lesson was about insecurities and that we should have NO REASON to feel insecure because the Lord made us in HIS image and exactly how he wanted us to be. For example, Mr. T (my teacher) was blessed with a speech impediment…that’s right, I said BLESSED! With that he is able to have compassion for others that have speech impediments.

For years I have been insecure about the fact that I was unable to conceive a child just like most other women. As young girls we are surrounded by the thought and dream of one day having that prince charming and children of our own. For me, that just didn’t happen. I struggled for years with infertility and it made me insecure as a woman, and to be quite honest, for many MANY years it was like I cursed God for making me this way. I didn’t understand why there were women who could get pregnant just by looking at them, or so it seemed. Many of them didn’t even care or want a child. Then there was me, a girl who never was “promiscuous” so to speak, a girl who was a Christian girl and one who wanted a baby more than anything in the world. I prayed all the time for a baby and didn’t understand why I just didn’t have the prayers answered.

It took me a few years, and a divorce from my first husband to really understand the reason for “my unanswered prayers”. My 1st marriage was not a marriage that a child should be brought up in. I also, being a child of a divorced couple, swore I would never raise a child in a divorced family. If I would have had children with my ex husband, I would still be married to him, and probably living a miserable life, just so my child would not have to live in two separate homes.

It was the insecurity part that I was still struggling with. I just didn’t feel like a whole woman, because of this “malfunction” in my body. I had my faith in God, that he would bless us (my current hubby and I) with a baby, but I was still holding onto that insecure feeling…UNTIL YESTERDAY.

Yesterday I let that feeling go. I was made WONDERFULLY, and I know now that if I had not been made this way, I would have taken motherhood for granted. I would have never really understood what other women who had the problems and the difficulty to conceive felt when they first saw that tiny little heartbeat on the ultrasound screen or to hold their own precious little baby in their arms. I will NEVER take motherhood for granted, and I will BLESS HIM with everything and give HIM all the glory and honor he deserves for each little miracle that he molds and makes for every woman who has and will struggle with her infertility. Maybe it’s a test, I don’t know…but I want to be able to pass with flying colors. For HE is the creator of EVERYTHING, I’m just the tool for which to bring it into the world.

Today I have awoken with a renewed strength and energy. I know that my God still hears and answers prayers and HE knows the true desires of my heart. I am no longer saddened or insecure of my infertility, but honored that He felt I was strong enough to be blessed with it.

A Weekend In Bed

So much for the holiday weekend! Believe it or not, I spent most of the time in bed, sleeping! Of course it was raining most of the time, so it made sleeping the perfect thing to do. I just felt so un-productive this weekend when I had so much planned to do. The only thing I did get done was the laundry, thank goodness. I also had a temperature most of the weekend as well, and I think that I have come to the conclusion that it is from the Prometrium (progesterone pill) instead of the Levothyroxine (thyroid medication). I’ll know for sure by this Friday, since Thursday is my last night of taking the progesterone.


I’ve been spending so much time reading the Fertile Thoughts forum pages. I could spend from sun up to sun down reading all the posts on there. I’m saying little prayers for all those great women who long to hold their precious little babies in their arms just as much as I do.

Anyway, I made it into work today, even with a slight temperature. I feel fine, other than being tired and weak. My lower back is a little sore too, but I’m keeping with my motto that “There’s nothing to complain about, because it will all be worth it in the end!”

Until next time…

Halfway through with one....

Well, I am officially half-way through my Prometrium. Last night I took pill #7 of 14. I have been experiencing a little bit of lower back pain and I’m praying that I am not experiencing the onset of a kidney infection. BUT, I’ve said all along that I would not complain about any of this; it’s all going to be worth it in the end, right!? I can handle a little back pain, I’ll just spend a little time laying on the heating pad.
I am so glad that I have come across the FERTILE THOUGHTS website. I could probably spend all day on the forums reading the stories of inspiration, success and determination from other ladies that are going on this journey with me. There truly are some amazing women on that site. I’ve also learned some very interesting information on that site that I had not heard of. Don’t get me wrong, I know there is a lot of information out there, some true to fact and some more like old wives tales. I’ve also learned to take everything with a grain of salt.
One thing I have read of most of the women there using is baby aspirin with their daily dose concoction of meds, supplements and vitamins. This really peaked my interest, so I decided to look and research that a little more. So, off I went to good ole’ GOOGLE and ASK.COM and this is what I found:

According to a study published in Fertility and Sterility (operated by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine), "Low dose aspirin treatment significantly improves ovarian response, uterine and ovarian blood flow velocity, implantation rate and pregnancy rate in patients undergoing IVF. Aspirin seems to be a useful, effective and safe treatment in patients who undergo assisted reproductive technologies." information from here
If you are suspicious about miscarriages, or have suffered from them in the past, ask your doctor about aspirin. It could very well be what the doctor orders. When you are trying to conceive, it is important not to take any type of drug, even an over the counter one, without talking to your doctor first. information from here

After reading all the information I did yesterday, I too decided to start taking baby aspirin once per day before bed. My thoughts are that it can’t hurt, and if anything it might help and lower the risk of any miscarriage.

Tweekin'

Well, I'm doing some tweeks to the blog to make it prettier on the eyes! hehe
I'm learning as I go along, so please bare with me as I make the adjustments. If you have any insight or help you can lend, I would greatly appreciate it.

And it starts...

Well, althought I have blogged before, I decided that I would start a blog, a journal so to speak, on my journey with infertility and TTC (trying to conceive). So...let me catch you up on a little about me:

Me: 34
DH: 51
2nd marriage for both of us (we married Sept. 2008).
0 childrend from each of us.
Diagnosed with PCOS when I was about 22-23 years old.
Put on metformin when I was 25 (if I remember right)
No infertility issues with DH (count, motility and morphology all ok).

Ok, now that I have that out of the way, I will lead into where I am at now.

I was married to my DH#1 for 10 years. We tried the entire stretch of our marriage to have children...unsuccessfully. About 2 years into our marriage I seeked a specialist (RE) to help with my mission. That is when I was officially diagnosed with PCOS. With that doctor I did 6 treatments with Clomid; gradually increasing my dose each cycle but still not having any luck. Other than having the medication, we were trying the old fashion way with some good ole' fashion BMS. I hated the symptoms I had while on the clomid, and it obviously wasn't working, but our insurance just didn't cover any other options (IUI/IVF), so after the failed 6th cycle we decided to take a break from that and just try it naturally.

STILL NO SUCCESS!

Fast forward to 2010! On April 20th, I had my first appt with the RE (from this point on, he will be known as Dr. C). This consultation left me feeling kind of bummed, because the first thing that he mentioned was that "with your husbands age, you should consider IVF...blah blah blah! "No offense Doc, but I think that with that being my last resort, I would prefer to do a few rounds of IUI's and then re-evaluate. Anyway, after a butt load of bloodwork and the poor DH going in for his SA, we got the "GREEN LIGHT" on May 20th to move forward with the IUI process. That's right, you heard me correctly...it took a month to find out our results! It was a long agonizing month at that.

For this first take, our protocol is:

• Prometrium (once/day for 14 days to bring on AF)
• On CD3 I am to go in for an u/s and bw to determine when and what dosage to start the rest of the meds.
• The next rounds of meds will be: Femara for 5 days, then follistim, with the Ovadril (trigger shot)
• IUI will be scheduled anywhere from 36-40 hrs after trigger shot.
• Then the dreaded 2ww.

Im keeping my prayer beads handy, and that bible on the stand by my bed.

RIGHT NOW: I am on day 4 of the prometrium (10 more days to go).