We went in on Tuesday last week to have a BETA done, and sadly it was negative. NOT PREGNANT. It was very sad for me, but even more so for poor DH. He was so sure that we were pregnant, that when I had to break the news to him, he was pretty much devastated. It broke my heart because his heart was breaking. AND, once again, I felt like I was such a broken woman. I felt like all the numbers were in our favor, but yet I just couldn’t get the prize…a beautiful baby.
When the nurse called to give me the news, I asked her how long I should wait if I had not started AF on my own. I really didn’t want to have to go this route again, but I just didn’t want to be sitting around waiting for weeks if it didn’t show its ugly face. She said that if I had not started to have a period by Monday, then I should call and we would decide then if I needed to have a prescription to bring on AF again.
I prayed…I prayed to God that he would let my body work right and that AF would arrive on its own without any medication or manipulation. I prayed that God would forgive me for rushing His time last cycle. I prayed that with his grace and mercy he would prepare my body for another round of pills, injections and medical intervention and assistance to ovulate and conceive a beautiful healthy baby.
God answered my prayers! Friday morning on my way to work I had some alone time, just me and God. Again I prayed to bring me AF, and about an hour after arriving to work…it came. THANK THE LORD. It sound so weird praying for that, and being thankful when it arrives, but believe me…I was thankful.
Sunday was CD3, so off to the RE we went for the usual…ultrasound and blood work. We got the call that everything looked good, and we were told to start the same regime as last time; 5mg of Femara for 5 days (CD3-CD7), start 50iu of Follistim on Wednesday and take that from CD6-CD12 and then return on CD12 for follow up blood work and ultrasound.
I’m keeping my faith, as always, and staying very optimistic that this will be the one for us. As I mentioned earlier; when I apologized to God for rushing him…I feel that I did. When I took the prometrium last cycle to try and bring on AF, and then AF never arrived but we went ahead with treatment as though it did. I am truly believing that it was not in God’s time, and I should have realized then and listened then. I’m praying that since my cycle started on its own this time, that it’s a good sign of what’s to come.
I’ll keep you posted!
Hey There!! I stumbled upon your blog because you became a follower of mine. I just wanted to tell you that I know how hard all of this is....the infertility. Keep your focus on where is should be...God...HE will keep peace in your heart...even when there is sadness. God always hears our prayers and answers them---in His timing. His GRACE is sufficient.
ReplyDeleteGod hears your aching heart...he does. I know this because I am finding your blog while I am on vacation in Florida with my family....looking at your blog late in the evening...coincidence, I think not....so God.
Praying for you this evening. :)
Tanni