Monday, April 18, 2011

Infertility weight

Well hello friends!
I've been lacking in blogs and I apologize for that. Honestly, my mind has been elsewhere. BUT, it's that time to update and get focused again.
Last Tuesday I started taking a diet pill to help with some energy and to get a jump start on getting rid of all this infertility weight. You know, the weight that comes along when taking all those prescription medications that are meant to help prepare your body to get pregnant. Well, in my case it was just medications that seemed to have added more junk to my trunk, so to speak!
Before I started these pills, Phentramin-D, I weighed myself and did my measurements so I can log and keep track of my progress. Saturday, after just 4 days of taking these pill, I was down 4 pounds already. Of course some of that is probably water weight, but I'll take it. I will be checking my weight and measurements tomorrow morning after a full week of doing these pills to see where I'm at. I hope to be blogging about some great success with this.

We also had to make the difficult decision Friday to not continue with the Cobra insurance. It was hard to make this decision because it means that we are not going to be able to prepare for a FET anytime soon. This is sad, but I have to continue to believe that we will be parents...that we are MEANT to have a baby, and that the Lord will give us this miracle. If it's in His plan, it will happen one way or another. Either we will find a way to come up with the money to do a transfer ourselves, or we will have our own little miracle. I am not going to let infertility beat me!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Our Cruise on the Carnival Dream

Well, I said that I would post my review of the Carnival Dream, so here it is along with some photos from our cruise vacation!
Let me start off by saying that my DH has been on 12 cruises on several different lines (Carnival, Princess, Royal Caribbean, Celebrity, Holland America) and this was my 3rd. With that being said, we are familiar with cruising and what is out there and although we knew that Carnival was the "budget" cruise line, we were intrigued by the Dream, in that it is a new ship and the largest of the Carnival fleet. We were sure that they would have stepped it up a bit with this new ship, but sadly...we were disappointed. Needless to say, this was our last cruise with Carnival.
Although this ship is larger, all that they did was increase the amount of cabins on board to gain more revenue for more people on board. The common/public areas were the same as they are on several other ships of theirs, and they aren't much bigger in square footage so there is more people packed into smaller areas for shows, comedians, dining and even pools. There was only 2 pools which seems ridiculous when this ship's capacity is roughly 3600 passengers. Which leads to another problem. The cruise director made the mistake of mentioning a few times during the week that there were 4500 passengers on board which made the ship OVER capacity by almost 1,000 passengers. What do you think would happen if we had a problem at sea and couldn't get everyone into lifeboats? Scary thought huh?

Embarkation was one of the smoothest either of us have experienced. My dad who lives near Orlando dropped us off at the port Saturday afternoon so that we wouldn't have to pay over $100 for parking our car for a week. Once we gave our luggage to the porter, we were through security, checked in and on the boat within 15 minutes! All of our luggage was at our room by 2pm and we were unpacked before our life boat drill, which NEVER happens.

The food on the ship was par. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't all that great either. We tried almost all the options, and there is a lot on board, especially for lunch. There is: lunch room (served food), general buffet, pasta bar (BEST LUNCH), grill (hamburgers, hot dogs and fries), pizza bar, deli, sushi, BBQ (not what you would think of a BBQ), Mongolian (GREAT TOO), Tandoori (Indian style food). As I mentioned, the pasta bar was the best lunch in my opinion. You choose your pasta, your sauce, your toppings and whether you want bread or a salad then it is brought to your table when it is ready. To avoid being boring, I'm not going to elaborate on the food, but I can tell you that I've had better food on other ships.

The shocking part was the entertainment, or lack there of. They kept stating that the production shows were multi-million dollar shows but honestly, I've seen much better at high school production shows. The music(singers) were, well...not so good. The dancers were hardly ever together making the choreography look cheap and choppy, and the direction of the productions was kindergarten rate. The comedians they had on board were the best entertainment for the evening. We made every show for them in the evenings (adult only shows, not the family shows) and always got there early because seats would get full quick! The karaoke on board was a big joke. I think they might have had 100 songs in their list, so if you were a karaoke junkie like us, you would be disappointed. The KJ (Karaoke host) had no personality and didn't involve the crowd at all, just simply called each singer up. There was one good band, called the blackjack band that sang in the Ocean Plaza each night and they were great. They did a lot of 80s cover tunes, a few country tunes and great dance hits too. As for entertainment to keep you busy during the day or events like deck parties and such, there was 1 deck party for a 7 night cruise, and it was a joke as well. We stayed for about 45 minutes and decided we could find something better to do somewhere, which we didn' we went to bed early that night (early as in 11:45pm).

I could go on and on, but I will not bore you with that. I will just suggest that if you are looking for a cruise and if you were considering this ship...or even this line, look somewhere else. I know that it is a cheaper line, but like what they get what you pay for, right?

For our next cruise, we are considering the Royal Caribbean Oasis of the Seas. We have seen this ship several times before, but this cruise it was at every port we were at and each time we saw it, we just wanted to hop off our ship and join the gang over on the Oasis.

BUT, know that I am not complaining about being on a cruise. I was happy to be on a cruise and away from the cares of the world for a week. DH and I both needed it very much, and got to spend a week enjoying time together. I wouldn't trade anything for that!

 The was the view from our lunch table before we first boarded the ship!

 My sweet DH is prepared.

 Ahh, time for some relaxation in the Adults area - Serenity!

 The water in St. Thomas, USVI

 Me and DH riding the boat back to our ship in St. Marteen

The rear view of the Oasis of the Seas (our next cruise)


Rested and ready to move forward

After 7 days on a cruise, I have had some wonderful time resting and relaxing and spending some much needed time alone with my DH.
Although the cruise wasn't so hot (DH has dubbed Carnival as the Trailerhood of cruise lines), we enjoyed being away from the stress of work and being wrapped up in the sadness of our loss. It was nice just to spend a week not talking about it and not being around people who were aware of it who kept asking if I was alright or if I was ready to try again and IF I was going to try again.
I had fully planned on video taping throughout the cruise and giving a full video review of the ship and our experience on the Carnival Dream, but honestly there just wasn't anything that interesting of the ship to walk around with my video camera. I did do a few short clips of the inside of our cabin and some common areas on the ship, but when I got home and reviewed them I realized that it just wasn't what I wanted to share. SO...I will blog a review a little later today or possibly tomorrow for those who are interested to know my point of view from cruising.
Anyway, we are back to reality now and I'm doing some serious thinking of moving forward to the goal to motherhood. AF still hasn't arrived, and I'm so thankful that she didn't show her ugly head while we were on vacation. Can you think of a bigger bummer? Now that I am back home, I'm a little concerned that AF hasn't come, so I called the nurse yesterday who basically told me I could wait it out or come in for baseline bloodwork to see where I'm at. She said they could tell from the bloodwork if I was approaching AF or if I was baseline enough to start BCPs. So...why am I hesitating? This is what I want isn't it?

I've decided that I will plan to go in for bloodwork next Wednesday if I have not gotten AF by then. Call me crazy, but maybe I'm just having a little wishful thinking after all the "alone" time that DH and I had while on our cruise. I truly don't know what got into my hubby, but we BD more in the past week than we have in 6 months!!! (That was another perk to the cruise).

As for my heart and my emotions...I'm getting better every day. My ex-coworker that went through her IVF 3 weeks before I did is now 18 weeks pregnant with a baby girl from her successful attempt, and although it hurts knowing that it would make me 15 weeks pregnant and it's so bitter sweet...I am truly happy for her and wish her all the best. I've sent messages to her via text and email a few times and even on her FB but have not received any response from her. That hurts the most I think. We were "fertility sisters" and went through all of this together, and now I'm not even acknowledged. I guess my problem is that I get to vested with friends and coworkers. Lesson learned!

So, I guess I will soon be popping pills again and doing those shots again. Honestly, I have enjoyed not having to worry about all of that stuff, but I guess I need to realize that this is just what has to be done, right? And, if I'm paying the outrageous COBRA fee, I might as well use it before it's gone, if not I have wasted that money for nothing!

Oh well, part of me is super excited about the future and praying that the Lord will bless us with a true sticky bean this time cause I just know I couldn't go through another loss again! This will be our last shot, so I have to be well prepared mentally for this, so the cruise has helped to clear my mind and prepare it for the craziness of a FET.

Anyway, I will be sharing some of our cruise photos soon!