Friday, September 20, 2013

We Interrupt this regularly scheduled FET...

So, Monday I went in for my Trial Transfer and hydrosonography. Trial Transfer went well, but something didn't look right on my ultrasound. Right there...slap on the side of my uterus, a 6cm fibroid! Wait...what? 6cm? Last time I had an ultrasound in that area (of course that was 2 years ago) it was only 3 cm. Yep, something that I wasn't expecting to get slapped in the face with, but here we are. The doctor says that he can almost guarantee that this is the culprit to our miscarriages and suggests that we have it removed before we move forward with our FET. It's hard to say how I am feeling, because I have a ton of emotions about this. I think my first emotion was anger when I heard that this stinking fibroid was probably the cause of our losses because I distinctly remember asking my prior RE if this would hinder our chances, to which he said "Many women have fibroids and this won't interfere with implantation!" Well, duh of course it didn't hinder implantation, but many studies prove that it does lead to pre-term labor, infertility AND miscarriages along with still births. Heck, this stinking thing should have been removed ages ago. I was also quite anxious and nervous about this news. The thought of a 6cm growth on my uterus that is going to requite surgery to remove? SURGERY? The only surgery I have ever had was having my tonsils and adenoids removed when I was a child. Although I was under anesthesia for my IVF Egg Retrieval I hardly call that surgery. Now, here I am facing the thought of being put under for what I have been told is a 3 hour procedure? I'm going to have little incisions on my tummy? And, although it is an outpatient surgery, I am going to have a rough week of recovery? Ugh...yes, to say I am a little scared would be an understatement. But I have to remember that God is in control. I think most importantly, the biggest emotion I am feeling now that I have a had a few days to let this sit and marinate with me is relief, understanding and that "ah-ha" moment. See, when you are told over and over again "We just don't know why you continue to have these miscarriages" it will about drive you insane. You know there has to be a reason, and yet no one seems to be able to give you that reason you are searching for. Now...thanks to Dr. M, I have an answer that I am ok with. One that truly makes sense to me without me pretending that it makes sense. I have once again the renewed faith that I am at the right place for us to be for this last shot at parenthood. This last shot with our two precious snow babies. And knowing that this doctor wants to be proactive and give me the best possible chance makes me more confident than ever that taking this break to get rid of this fibroid is worth putting our dream off just a few more months.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Night and Day

Is what it is like with my new doctor! I can't even begin to tell you how much I have enjoyed this transition and how much at peace I am with this final attempt. From the embryologist to the nursing staff to the front desk girls, this compassion is what I would hope that every women who is going through this journey gets to experience with their RE and clinic. Unfortunately for me, at my previous RE there was no good bedside manner, there was truly not sincere compassion and I felt like I was only just a number to them. But here, here at a place that just wraps you in their arms (literally, the nurse hugged me the first time she met me) I know this is where I should be and probably where I should have been 3 years ago when I started this route in my infertility journey. But, I am not going to dwell on what was and only focus on what is and will be. Hopefully next week or the following my little snow babies will be picked up and moved to WI and put to bed for just a short time until I can get to my transfer.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Here we go again...

It has been quite a while since I have updated my blog and even longer since it has been anything fertility related, but since I now have some news to actually update those who follow my blog I thought that I needed to get back into the swing of things. The update is that we are starting up to do one last FET with our remaining "snow babies". Because of my lack of confidence in my past RE, we decided to switch things up a bit and get a second opinion from another local clinic here in Charlotte. We chose The Women's Istitute and Dr. Marshburn. Since my consult with him on August 21st, we have pretty much been going full steam. He double checked my thyroid since Dr. C had put me on that previously. Low and behold my values were right where they should be according to Dr. M's nurse. Instructions were to stay on the must be doing it's job! Dr. M also prescribed prometrium to help start up a cycle since mine tend to be a little absent when they shouldn't be. After 7 days of that along with the acupuncture treatments that I started the end of July AF showed her face this past Friday night making Saturday, August 31st CD1. YAY. Oh, but did I mention that we had an out of state wedding to go to over the weekend so that was just a delight to deal with while away and spending time in the car for 4 hours! Ha~ Anyway, I digress...unlike my prior clinic, this office actually closes for the weekends and holidays. Don't get me wrong, they do have a doctor on call, but it definitely isn't like my old clinic where if you start your period over the weekend, you can still come in for labs and an ultrasound if needed. I went ahead and called Saturday morning and thankfully Dr. M happened to be the doctor on call. He first told me to come into the office Tuesday morning for labs, but then retracted and told me to call his nurse Tuesday morning to see if I do need to come in. Long story short, I ended up going in during my lunch hour on Tuesday to get labs (only because my insurance requires it) and then I got my protocol and schedule for this FET. Yes....ALREADY! Talk about a big shock when she told me to start taking BCPs Tuesday night. So, here I am just 3 days into this and more than ready to get things rolling. It does seem that I will be on a long extended protocol (again because of the schedules for treatments at this clinic). It looks like my transfer will be the last week in October which makes 56 days from start to finish. On my past two transfers they were only about 41 days or 6 weeks from start of BCPs to transfer. I'm interested to see how this all pans out. But, since I actually have a reason to update I will be back quite often to let you know our progress...and as always, your prayers and thoughts are so greatly appreciated during this time.