We Interrupt this regularly scheduled FET...

So, Monday I went in for my Trial Transfer and hydrosonography. Trial Transfer went well, but something didn't look right on my ultrasound. Right there...slap on the side of my uterus, a 6cm fibroid! Wait...what? 6cm? Last time I had an ultrasound in that area (of course that was 2 years ago) it was only 3 cm. Yep, something that I wasn't expecting to get slapped in the face with, but here we are. The doctor says that he can almost guarantee that this is the culprit to our miscarriages and suggests that we have it removed before we move forward with our FET. It's hard to say how I am feeling, because I have a ton of emotions about this. I think my first emotion was anger when I heard that this stinking fibroid was probably the cause of our losses because I distinctly remember asking my prior RE if this would hinder our chances, to which he said "Many women have fibroids and this won't interfere with implantation!" Well, duh of course it didn't hinder implantation, but many studies prove that it does lead to pre-term labor, infertility AND miscarriages along with still births. Heck, this stinking thing should have been removed ages ago. I was also quite anxious and nervous about this news. The thought of a 6cm growth on my uterus that is going to requite surgery to remove? SURGERY? The only surgery I have ever had was having my tonsils and adenoids removed when I was a child. Although I was under anesthesia for my IVF Egg Retrieval I hardly call that surgery. Now, here I am facing the thought of being put under for what I have been told is a 3 hour procedure? I'm going to have little incisions on my tummy? And, although it is an outpatient surgery, I am going to have a rough week of recovery? Ugh...yes, to say I am a little scared would be an understatement. But I have to remember that God is in control. I think most importantly, the biggest emotion I am feeling now that I have a had a few days to let this sit and marinate with me is relief, understanding and that "ah-ha" moment. See, when you are told over and over again "We just don't know why you continue to have these miscarriages" it will about drive you insane. You know there has to be a reason, and yet no one seems to be able to give you that reason you are searching for. Now...thanks to Dr. M, I have an answer that I am ok with. One that truly makes sense to me without me pretending that it makes sense. I have once again the renewed faith that I am at the right place for us to be for this last shot at parenthood. This last shot with our two precious snow babies. And knowing that this doctor wants to be proactive and give me the best possible chance makes me more confident than ever that taking this break to get rid of this fibroid is worth putting our dream off just a few more months.