So much for that...

It has been a bit since I have done any type of blog update, but I found about 2 minutes in my day today and felt the need to do since...well things have changed!
We went in to the RE Thursday past for a follow up ultrasound to make sure that everything was ok.
Wednesday night (the night before), I started to have some light bleeding. Honestly...I wasn't alarmed. I mean it was nothing like the first time, and that entire week before I heard the heartbeat, I had what seemed like an actual period, so...I felt pretty confident that all was ok. There was no cramping and no discomfort, so I just stopped all the packing (we are in the process of moving) and spent the rest of the evening in bed.
Ken and I were there in the exam room with great anticipation for him to hear and see the little jelly bean...and then there it was....SILENCE!
The doctor said those haunting words, "the heartbeat is gone". And just like that, my world came crashing down...AGAIN!!
God, I just don't understand how this has happened AGAIN!
So, we have lost the second baby, and my heart is broken far beyond repair at this time.
I'm thankful that we are busy moving, so it keeps my mind distracted...for the most part. BUT, in the silence of the night, in the car stopped at a red light. While I am in the shower. When the world seems to be so still to me...I can hear my heart breaking again.

I know this is a short update, but I'm still not really able to just blog out about this roller coaster ride. I will, I know I will, but just not today.