Well, it has been quite a long time since I blogged, and mostly cause the holiday's have been quite a hectic time in our home. We also haven't been doing ANYTHING on the TTC front. Matter of fact, we have done nothing the entire year of 2012. It's almost hard to believe that we had a whole year...12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days of absolutely NO fertility treatment.
Part of me is ok with taking this long of a break, part of me is disgusted that I let an entire year go by and didn't do anything to move closer to my hopes of having a baby.
WHY did I go without any treatment this year? Well, mainly for one reason and that one reason only...I have had no insurance to cover any type of treatments and medication. PERIOD. It's sad to base the fact of not moving forward with treatment on the fact that I had no insurance, but that is basically what it boils down too.
SO, with that being said, hopefully once I go permanent with this job I have been working (only for the past 7 months) then I will have insurance be able to start moving forward.
PLAN- Transfer those last two snow babies that we have.
Here's to a more productive 2013 than 2012.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Monday, June 4, 2012
My 20 day cycle
Well, today is officially CD3. That means if you are keeping track, last cycle was only 20 days!!! I am not sure if things are trying to get back on track since last cycle was the first since the miscarriage in October, or if the Low Amylose Diet is helping to regulate. I am completely dumbfounded. I did do the Soy Isoflavones last cycle from CD5-CD9. I started progesterone cream on CD12 and have continued that this time even though AF has arrived. Today is 12 days on the cream and I am thinking I will finish up the cream either tonight or tomorrow night.
As for the Soy, I haven't decided if I will do that this cycle or not, but I am convinced that the new low amylose way of living is really helping matters as well.
I have slacked on vlogging with all the interviews I have been on, and the confusion with the cycles. I hope to get a vlog done tonight. Keeping fingers crossed.
On a high note, after 16 months of being out of work, I start a new job next Monday! I am so thankful for this wonderful blessing. It will help in more ways that I can even mention, but two of the most important ways it will help is 1) Taking the stress off my DH of being the only bread winner around here. 2) Having extra $$ to put away to doing another transfer with our two remaining embies (that is if we don't have a miracle natural bfp).
As for the Soy, I haven't decided if I will do that this cycle or not, but I am convinced that the new low amylose way of living is really helping matters as well.
I have slacked on vlogging with all the interviews I have been on, and the confusion with the cycles. I hope to get a vlog done tonight. Keeping fingers crossed.
On a high note, after 16 months of being out of work, I start a new job next Monday! I am so thankful for this wonderful blessing. It will help in more ways that I can even mention, but two of the most important ways it will help is 1) Taking the stress off my DH of being the only bread winner around here. 2) Having extra $$ to put away to doing another transfer with our two remaining embies (that is if we don't have a miracle natural bfp).
Friday, May 11, 2012
Update on the progesterone therapy
Well, today is day 11 of 14 of my progesterone cream therapy. As I mentioned in my last post, I am doing this to help bring on my period that has been missing since our miscarriage in October. Monday will be my last day doing that, and I am anxious and excited to see if it will do what it is meant to do.
I have been spending my time watching many YouTube videos from other PCOS gals and doing lots of reading and research in regards to taking control of our cycles and working toward that ever elusive BFP!
I will be starting a low amylose diet combined with the insulin resistance diet on Monday and I'm looking forward to seeing how that helps matters as well. I could stand to lose a little weight, that's for sure.
Today I also started a FB page strickly dedicated to my TTC journey. After several months of having to avoid posting anything onto my personal FB page that my family is connected to, I decided I needed to have a page where I could go and journal and give status reports of how things were going with our struggles at TTC. Long story short, I know that there are people on my personal page that have no desire to know about that part of our life, as well as people on that page that I don't CARE to share that information with...if you know what I mean, so hence the new page.
Anyway...I know this isn't much of an update, but right now I am in limbo until the therapy period is over with. I'm hoping to have good news by this time next week!
I have been spending my time watching many YouTube videos from other PCOS gals and doing lots of reading and research in regards to taking control of our cycles and working toward that ever elusive BFP!
I will be starting a low amylose diet combined with the insulin resistance diet on Monday and I'm looking forward to seeing how that helps matters as well. I could stand to lose a little weight, that's for sure.
Today I also started a FB page strickly dedicated to my TTC journey. After several months of having to avoid posting anything onto my personal FB page that my family is connected to, I decided I needed to have a page where I could go and journal and give status reports of how things were going with our struggles at TTC. Long story short, I know that there are people on my personal page that have no desire to know about that part of our life, as well as people on that page that I don't CARE to share that information with...if you know what I mean, so hence the new page.
Anyway...I know this isn't much of an update, but right now I am in limbo until the therapy period is over with. I'm hoping to have good news by this time next week!
Monday, April 2, 2012
New Beginnings
The past few weeks have been a haze for me. I have had moments where I felt completely normal then times where I was just simply numb at what we had been put there. To be quite honest, I don't like what each heartbreak does to not just me, but my husband, my friends and most importantly, my family. They have been so supportive from one struggle to the next and have been praying relentlessly for our hearts to be filled with the love of a baby of our own.
With each slight glimmer of hope, we have joyfully shared the news with our parents, our church family, our close friends...and even people we meet in our day to day lives. They get wrapped up in the excitement of the news of a new baby and make all kinds of plans and purchases with the greatest anticipation, and then... the bottom falls out, the rug gets pulled out from under our feet, and we are faced with another heartbreak and let down. With this last heartbreak, someone was in control of our happiness and our dreams. We put all kinds of trust and hope into someone elses hands, only to be hurt YET AGAIN!
Honestly, I hate what this does to us. It breaks our wills, our trust of others, and takes away our joy that we should have when it really does happen for us. We kind of feel like the boy who cried wolf, and that no one will even be remotely excited for us at any announcement of a "baby on the way".
Isn't that just sad?
I mean, I am not looking for sympathy here. Quite the contrary. I just hate that it hardens our hearts to what should be such an amazing time for us.
That's why we are starting with a new beginning. Great things are to come. I feel the brush of angels wings, and I feel amazingly at peace, even though my heart has been crushed and broken time and time again. I just know that something absolutely beautiful is in our future. However, we have made the conscious decision to keep any "exciting news" to ourselves, at least for the time being. For our own self preservation. For us to avoid any type of negative comments or remarks. Frankly, we don't need them. We have been there, right in the center of it, so we don't need a constant reminder of it. Leave the negativity at the door, is basically my thoughts.
Just know that we are in a happy place right now. I believe that God is listening to our prayers, and just whispering..."BE STILL", so that is what we are going to do.
With each slight glimmer of hope, we have joyfully shared the news with our parents, our church family, our close friends...and even people we meet in our day to day lives. They get wrapped up in the excitement of the news of a new baby and make all kinds of plans and purchases with the greatest anticipation, and then... the bottom falls out, the rug gets pulled out from under our feet, and we are faced with another heartbreak and let down. With this last heartbreak, someone was in control of our happiness and our dreams. We put all kinds of trust and hope into someone elses hands, only to be hurt YET AGAIN!
Honestly, I hate what this does to us. It breaks our wills, our trust of others, and takes away our joy that we should have when it really does happen for us. We kind of feel like the boy who cried wolf, and that no one will even be remotely excited for us at any announcement of a "baby on the way".
Isn't that just sad?
I mean, I am not looking for sympathy here. Quite the contrary. I just hate that it hardens our hearts to what should be such an amazing time for us.
That's why we are starting with a new beginning. Great things are to come. I feel the brush of angels wings, and I feel amazingly at peace, even though my heart has been crushed and broken time and time again. I just know that something absolutely beautiful is in our future. However, we have made the conscious decision to keep any "exciting news" to ourselves, at least for the time being. For our own self preservation. For us to avoid any type of negative comments or remarks. Frankly, we don't need them. We have been there, right in the center of it, so we don't need a constant reminder of it. Leave the negativity at the door, is basically my thoughts.
Just know that we are in a happy place right now. I believe that God is listening to our prayers, and just whispering..."BE STILL", so that is what we are going to do.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Heartbreaking News
Hey friends. Just wanted to update you to let you all know that sadly, the adoption fell through. It was ultimately our decision, but as you can imagine it was a difficult one to come to. The little guy was born on March 21st a little after 11pm, and he was healthy. About 5 days prior to his birth, the birth mother became a little wishy washy after a heart to heart with the baby daddy. Supposedly, he had been manipulating her through this whole pregnancy, making her think that if she went ahead with the adoption that they would be able to start a relationship again when in all actuallity his plan was to hit the bricks as soon as the baby was born an he signed over his rights for the adoption. Although she wasn't coming right out to tell me that she reconsidered...my heart and gut just had that feeling. To be honest, I think that she expects to have a forever hold on him with keeping the baby.
I can't understand why the Lord takes us down these roads sometimes and why we face heartbreak after heartbreak...but I am keeping my faith that something better is just around the corner.
Thank you for your prayers.
I can't understand why the Lord takes us down these roads sometimes and why we face heartbreak after heartbreak...but I am keeping my faith that something better is just around the corner.
Thank you for your prayers.
Monday, March 5, 2012
In God's Time
Well, I know that I have been keeping some hanging onto the edge of their seats for this "so-called" big announcement. So...without further lingering...
In just a little of three short weeks, we will be welcoming a new addition. Our little miracle, thanks to the beautiful gift of adoption.
In just a little of three short weeks, we will be welcoming a new addition. Our little miracle, thanks to the beautiful gift of adoption.
We feel so incredibly blessed and are thanking God daily for this amazing gift. You know, it's crazy how you put so much into trying to have a baby. All the needles, doctors appointments, strict regiments to try to be successful. Then, after all the years and tears and heartbreak, God taps you on the shoulder and says, "I have better things planned for you". My wonderful husband says it best..."God doesn't work things out for the good of one, but for the good of MANY". This little baby needed a loving home. Parents who would adore and cherish the blessing of having a child of their own...even if their blood didn't flow through his veins. The birth mother of this baby, needed the reassurance that this little one would be loved and cared for and have what it needed, knowing that she couldn't provide that for him. Praise God that she didn't decide to terminate this pregnancy early on.
There is no denying that this is a little boy, and we have chosen the name: Dalton Kain.
She is scheduled to be induced on March 28th, so in just a little over 3 weeks, we will have a little baby in our arms.
I'm so excited and there is so much to share, but that is my announcement for today.
Thank you for your continued prayers during this time.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Big News Coming Soon!
I know it has been such a long time since I posted, than some of you might have even stopped following me.
BUT...
Don't go anywhere. We will be having some big news coming in the next few days, so stay tuned!
BUT...
Don't go anywhere. We will be having some big news coming in the next few days, so stay tuned!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
FINALLY, a period!
Well, so I thought I had ovulated about 13 days ago or so...but now it looks like I might have gotten my positive OPK at the end of an ovulation cycle. Today is CD3! Tuesday morning I woke up and welcomed the wicked witch of the south (if you know what I mean). This was the first signs of a true AF since my miscarriages back in January/February!
Normally, today, CD3 I would be at the clinic first thing in the morning having blood work and ultrasound to see what is going on my uterus and ovaries. BUT, today I was able to sleep in, and not even think about having to go to a clinic, or prepare to start fertility medications. LOVE IT!
On the flip side of what else is going on in my life...my back has been really killing me the past few days. Thinking back, it actually started to hurt about a day before AF arrived. Could this be cycle related? Who knows. I know that I have never had any back ache like this before. We got notice last Tuesday that our tenants at our house were moving out and relocating to MN. The 24 month lease they signed turned into only about 4 months! Surprisingly I was not very stressed over this. I felt confident that we would find another tenant, AND we would be able to raise the rent a little, since it seems like we were renting it a lot less that other homes in the area. This past Sunday we showed the house 4 times and had 2 applications by Monday afternoon. Yesterday we made our choice and will be meeting them to sign a lease tonight. Thankfully...no stress. I've got to stay stress free.
As for my involvement with the fertility boards....I've stayed clear. I just can't get all wrapped up in that right now. I get so invested in the boards and the girls on there that I have come to love over the past year since I joined FT...but, I've got to keep my sanity right now. I'm starting to get better about dealing with my losses, but I'm not 100% there yet.
Speaking of, yesterday I went to our rental house and met with the tenants who are leaving to get the keys. She is pregnant and due in August. She already has a 3 year old little boy. I kindly asked what she was having...her response: "Another dang boy...I'm a boy maker!" My response to her was simply..."well, at least you can make them!" I then followed my reply with a nice, but honestly empty..."Congratulations"
Ugh...maybe this cycle? Lord I pray so!
Normally, today, CD3 I would be at the clinic first thing in the morning having blood work and ultrasound to see what is going on my uterus and ovaries. BUT, today I was able to sleep in, and not even think about having to go to a clinic, or prepare to start fertility medications. LOVE IT!
On the flip side of what else is going on in my life...my back has been really killing me the past few days. Thinking back, it actually started to hurt about a day before AF arrived. Could this be cycle related? Who knows. I know that I have never had any back ache like this before. We got notice last Tuesday that our tenants at our house were moving out and relocating to MN. The 24 month lease they signed turned into only about 4 months! Surprisingly I was not very stressed over this. I felt confident that we would find another tenant, AND we would be able to raise the rent a little, since it seems like we were renting it a lot less that other homes in the area. This past Sunday we showed the house 4 times and had 2 applications by Monday afternoon. Yesterday we made our choice and will be meeting them to sign a lease tonight. Thankfully...no stress. I've got to stay stress free.
As for my involvement with the fertility boards....I've stayed clear. I just can't get all wrapped up in that right now. I get so invested in the boards and the girls on there that I have come to love over the past year since I joined FT...but, I've got to keep my sanity right now. I'm starting to get better about dealing with my losses, but I'm not 100% there yet.
Speaking of, yesterday I went to our rental house and met with the tenants who are leaving to get the keys. She is pregnant and due in August. She already has a 3 year old little boy. I kindly asked what she was having...her response: "Another dang boy...I'm a boy maker!" My response to her was simply..."well, at least you can make them!" I then followed my reply with a nice, but honestly empty..."Congratulations"
Ugh...maybe this cycle? Lord I pray so!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Ovulation...
Without prescription medications? Really? Well, it seems to be the case.
About 9 days ago, on June 4th, I noticed that I was having some pretty heavy discharge, which after doing some checking determined it was EWCM. It really kind of shocked me, because I had not had any AF since my miscarriages, so...could I be reading my body right? I mean I had noticed some slight cramping for a couple days, but nothing really to take note of...but then again in all the years since my first menses at age 11 (yes, you heard me right), I never had any cramping. Matter of fact, I only ever noticed any ovulation cramping when I was on fertility meds and would take an injection to induce ovulation...really. So, I decided to take an OPK, since I had several in my stash from my TTC before doing my IUI's and monitoring and IVF.
POSITIVE!
Really? Can this be possible?
Funny thing is, I had called my OB/Gyn nurse earlier that day to discuss my concern since it had been so long since my miscarriage and yet I had not had a period. So...I took this test before I received her call back. Below is the gist of that call:
Nurse K: "Dr. M. was wondering if you were still receiving treatment at Reach?"
Me: "Well, no! I haven't been there since my last beta test in early March."
Nurse K: "That's kind of what I thought, and what I relayed to the doctor." She asked if you took a HPT."
Me: "I actually took one over a week ago, even though I knew it would be negative, I just wanted to make sure to rule that out."
Nurse K: "Well, she would like to have you repeat a HPT in a week and then call back to let us know the results. We might have to put you on Provera to induce a period."
Me: "Well, funny thing. I took a OPK about 10 minutes before your call, and it is showing positive. I also have noticed a lot of EWCM, so is it possible that I could be ovulating without having a break thru AF?"
Nurse K: "Of course it is possible. I wish you luck if you are going to attempt anything."
Me: "Well, I haven't told my husband yet, but we will see and pray that everything works out ok. I will retest then in 2 weeks and then follow up with you then."
Nurse K: "Sounds good. I look forward to hearing great news from you then!"
So, there you have it. It looks like I ovulated, so we tried...ONCE, because that's just how it worked out for us that weekend. I'm not holding out any hope or expectation of course, but I've been praying about it. I'm mostly just thrilled that my body ovulated without any prescription assistance and manipulation. I really think that the pills that I started (Fertility Blend for Women) is doing something with my body. It's all up to God, as it has always been...I just stand amazed every day at what He can do and the miracles that he grants us.
Friday morning will be the day I will POAS, yet again. I pray I see two lines, but honestly...this time around I won't be disappointed. I will just be excited that my body is responding and keep plugging along and praying that maybe the next cycle will be my time!
The most amazing thing about this "alternative treatment" thing...is that I feel more in control. It's funny....and freeing. My life is not dictated by doctor appointments, and what time to be home to take my shot, and blood work, and over thinking... I'm not missing that. Would I ever do it again, if I need to for my victory....I will; that is if the Lord finds us the means to make it happen financially. But this journey is not over for me. It's not going to beat me.
About 9 days ago, on June 4th, I noticed that I was having some pretty heavy discharge, which after doing some checking determined it was EWCM. It really kind of shocked me, because I had not had any AF since my miscarriages, so...could I be reading my body right? I mean I had noticed some slight cramping for a couple days, but nothing really to take note of...but then again in all the years since my first menses at age 11 (yes, you heard me right), I never had any cramping. Matter of fact, I only ever noticed any ovulation cramping when I was on fertility meds and would take an injection to induce ovulation...really. So, I decided to take an OPK, since I had several in my stash from my TTC before doing my IUI's and monitoring and IVF.
POSITIVE!
Really? Can this be possible?
Funny thing is, I had called my OB/Gyn nurse earlier that day to discuss my concern since it had been so long since my miscarriage and yet I had not had a period. So...I took this test before I received her call back. Below is the gist of that call:
Nurse K: "Dr. M. was wondering if you were still receiving treatment at Reach?"
Me: "Well, no! I haven't been there since my last beta test in early March."
Nurse K: "That's kind of what I thought, and what I relayed to the doctor." She asked if you took a HPT."
Me: "I actually took one over a week ago, even though I knew it would be negative, I just wanted to make sure to rule that out."
Nurse K: "Well, she would like to have you repeat a HPT in a week and then call back to let us know the results. We might have to put you on Provera to induce a period."
Me: "Well, funny thing. I took a OPK about 10 minutes before your call, and it is showing positive. I also have noticed a lot of EWCM, so is it possible that I could be ovulating without having a break thru AF?"
Nurse K: "Of course it is possible. I wish you luck if you are going to attempt anything."
Me: "Well, I haven't told my husband yet, but we will see and pray that everything works out ok. I will retest then in 2 weeks and then follow up with you then."
Nurse K: "Sounds good. I look forward to hearing great news from you then!"
So, there you have it. It looks like I ovulated, so we tried...ONCE, because that's just how it worked out for us that weekend. I'm not holding out any hope or expectation of course, but I've been praying about it. I'm mostly just thrilled that my body ovulated without any prescription assistance and manipulation. I really think that the pills that I started (Fertility Blend for Women) is doing something with my body. It's all up to God, as it has always been...I just stand amazed every day at what He can do and the miracles that he grants us.
Friday morning will be the day I will POAS, yet again. I pray I see two lines, but honestly...this time around I won't be disappointed. I will just be excited that my body is responding and keep plugging along and praying that maybe the next cycle will be my time!
The most amazing thing about this "alternative treatment" thing...is that I feel more in control. It's funny....and freeing. My life is not dictated by doctor appointments, and what time to be home to take my shot, and blood work, and over thinking... I'm not missing that. Would I ever do it again, if I need to for my victory....I will; that is if the Lord finds us the means to make it happen financially. But this journey is not over for me. It's not going to beat me.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Alternative Ferility Methods
Since it looks like another FET is a little out of our reach right now, I've been spending the past few weeks concentrating on "alternative" fertility treatments. I've researched all sorts of things from acupuncture, Chinese herbs, meditation and so forth. There is good and bad with everything I have read, but I think that I have settled on something and will give it a try for a few months to see if there is any success. If it will get my cycles regular, that will be a start. Since my miscarriages in late January and early February, the evil witch has stayed clear of me. Some might think that is a blessing, but for someone who is trying so desperately to conceive, I am going crazy without having her visit.
So, what is this that I'm trying? FERTILITY BLEND for Women by Daily Wellness. I picked up a bottle from my local GNC for about $40. Of course to some that might seem pretty high, but to those of us who have paid for fertility medications like Follistim injections, Ovidrel trigger shots, Crinone Gel, Progesterone in Oil, etc...$40 is a welcome change. The recommended dosage is 3 pills per day, which is what I am taking (one in the morning, one at lunch and one before bed). There is also a FERTILITY BLEND for men, but my hubby won't be starting those until he is due for more supplements. He is already taking most of the supplements that are in this pill individually.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not putting all my eggs into one basket and expecting this to be the end all/be all for my TTC, but after reading some inspiring reviews of this product, I felt that it was worth a shot. So, along with a lot of prayers and patience (this whole journey is about patience, right?) I pray that this might be a little miracle pill.
So, have any of your heard of this supplement? Have you yourself tried it or know of someone who has? It has been around for a while and I can't believe I just came across this in the past week with my googling and research.
I'm also contemplating purchasing a Clearblue Easy Fertility monitor as well...to help take away some of the guess work, so to speak!
So, what is this that I'm trying? FERTILITY BLEND for Women by Daily Wellness. I picked up a bottle from my local GNC for about $40. Of course to some that might seem pretty high, but to those of us who have paid for fertility medications like Follistim injections, Ovidrel trigger shots, Crinone Gel, Progesterone in Oil, etc...$40 is a welcome change. The recommended dosage is 3 pills per day, which is what I am taking (one in the morning, one at lunch and one before bed). There is also a FERTILITY BLEND for men, but my hubby won't be starting those until he is due for more supplements. He is already taking most of the supplements that are in this pill individually.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not putting all my eggs into one basket and expecting this to be the end all/be all for my TTC, but after reading some inspiring reviews of this product, I felt that it was worth a shot. So, along with a lot of prayers and patience (this whole journey is about patience, right?) I pray that this might be a little miracle pill.
So, have any of your heard of this supplement? Have you yourself tried it or know of someone who has? It has been around for a while and I can't believe I just came across this in the past week with my googling and research.
I'm also contemplating purchasing a Clearblue Easy Fertility monitor as well...to help take away some of the guess work, so to speak!
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