Well, today is day 11 of 14 of my progesterone cream therapy. As I mentioned in my last post, I am doing this to help bring on my period that has been missing since our miscarriage in October. Monday will be my last day doing that, and I am anxious and excited to see if it will do what it is meant to do.
I have been spending my time watching many YouTube videos from other PCOS gals and doing lots of reading and research in regards to taking control of our cycles and working toward that ever elusive BFP!
I will be starting a low amylose diet combined with the insulin resistance diet on Monday and I'm looking forward to seeing how that helps matters as well. I could stand to lose a little weight, that's for sure.
Today I also started a FB page strickly dedicated to my TTC journey. After several months of having to avoid posting anything onto my personal FB page that my family is connected to, I decided I needed to have a page where I could go and journal and give status reports of how things were going with our struggles at TTC. Long story short, I know that there are people on my personal page that have no desire to know about that part of our life, as well as people on that page that I don't CARE to share that information with...if you know what I mean, so hence the new page.
Anyway...I know this isn't much of an update, but right now I am in limbo until the therapy period is over with. I'm hoping to have good news by this time next week!
Friday, May 11, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Time to get my period back
When I had my miscarriage back in October, it kind of set me back into a funk. I'm not going to lie. I'm human, and something as heartbreaking as losing a baby yet again, when we have been trying for so long and doing everything that we know to do...of course it's going to put you in a dark place.
I was angry, so angry that I said "I'm not going to bother with any of my daily medications." Don't get me wrong, it's not like I was on any life saving prescriptions or pills to even out my mood. I just stopped taking what I had been taking which included Metformin that I had been taking for several years for my PCOS, all the way down to my daily folic acid, vitamin D and prenatal vitamin. I just didn't feel the need anymore.
Well, the joke was on me. With me not taking some of these pills, I just felt different and not in a good way. I would tell my hubby that I didn't feel "good", and of course his reply was always..."Well, what doesn't feel good?" as though I might be coming down with a flu bug or sick or something.
I just couldn't explain it to him, or to anyone for that matter. I just didn't feel like I should feel. I felt all most lethargic, and like I had a dark cloud over me. I wasn't depressed, but I felt depressed. Then I started thinking....I haven't been taking my pills for months. Maybe I should start taking those again. Even though we weren't on the TTC bandwagon, I had to get back to taking those pills. Then it clicked for me...I hadn't had a period since before our transfer in September. My last period was August 16th!! Yes, I bled with the miscarriage, but that wasn't a period in my book (maybe I am wrong about this), it was my body passing this baby or babies out of my system. So...what can I do to get my period back?
Well for us PCOS ladies, it isn't unusual to go long stretches with no period, but this has been 8 months. The only reason I should go this long without a period is if I am pregnant. Of course I am suppose to be pregnant right now (our due date was May 25th)...but we won't go there!
Anyway, I remembered that in the past I had some good results with using just OTC natural progesterone cream twice a day. So, I did some more research on this with my good friend Dr. G (that's Google) and decided to give it a try. I picked up some cream from GNC and started it Tuesday night (May 1st). Normally you would start your progesterone cream therapy on CD12 and take it for 14 days. Since I don't have a CD12, I have manipulated one. My hope is that when I stop this in a couple of weeks a period will soon appear.
This is not for a TTC attempt, but to help bring on my missing period! Stay tuned and I will let you all know how it goes.
I was angry, so angry that I said "I'm not going to bother with any of my daily medications." Don't get me wrong, it's not like I was on any life saving prescriptions or pills to even out my mood. I just stopped taking what I had been taking which included Metformin that I had been taking for several years for my PCOS, all the way down to my daily folic acid, vitamin D and prenatal vitamin. I just didn't feel the need anymore.
Well, the joke was on me. With me not taking some of these pills, I just felt different and not in a good way. I would tell my hubby that I didn't feel "good", and of course his reply was always..."Well, what doesn't feel good?" as though I might be coming down with a flu bug or sick or something.
I just couldn't explain it to him, or to anyone for that matter. I just didn't feel like I should feel. I felt all most lethargic, and like I had a dark cloud over me. I wasn't depressed, but I felt depressed. Then I started thinking....I haven't been taking my pills for months. Maybe I should start taking those again. Even though we weren't on the TTC bandwagon, I had to get back to taking those pills. Then it clicked for me...I hadn't had a period since before our transfer in September. My last period was August 16th!! Yes, I bled with the miscarriage, but that wasn't a period in my book (maybe I am wrong about this), it was my body passing this baby or babies out of my system. So...what can I do to get my period back?
Well for us PCOS ladies, it isn't unusual to go long stretches with no period, but this has been 8 months. The only reason I should go this long without a period is if I am pregnant. Of course I am suppose to be pregnant right now (our due date was May 25th)...but we won't go there!
Anyway, I remembered that in the past I had some good results with using just OTC natural progesterone cream twice a day. So, I did some more research on this with my good friend Dr. G (that's Google) and decided to give it a try. I picked up some cream from GNC and started it Tuesday night (May 1st). Normally you would start your progesterone cream therapy on CD12 and take it for 14 days. Since I don't have a CD12, I have manipulated one. My hope is that when I stop this in a couple of weeks a period will soon appear.
This is not for a TTC attempt, but to help bring on my missing period! Stay tuned and I will let you all know how it goes.
Monday, April 2, 2012
New Beginnings
The past few weeks have been a haze for me. I have had moments where I felt completely normal then times where I was just simply numb at what we had been put there. To be quite honest, I don't like what each heartbreak does to not just me, but my husband, my friends and most importantly, my family. They have been so supportive from one struggle to the next and have been praying relentlessly for our hearts to be filled with the love of a baby of our own.
With each slight glimmer of hope, we have joyfully shared the news with our parents, our church family, our close friends...and even people we meet in our day to day lives. They get wrapped up in the excitement of the news of a new baby and make all kinds of plans and purchases with the greatest anticipation, and then... the bottom falls out, the rug gets pulled out from under our feet, and we are faced with another heartbreak and let down. With this last heartbreak, someone was in control of our happiness and our dreams. We put all kinds of trust and hope into someone elses hands, only to be hurt YET AGAIN!
Honestly, I hate what this does to us. It breaks our wills, our trust of others, and takes away our joy that we should have when it really does happen for us. We kind of feel like the boy who cried wolf, and that no one will even be remotely excited for us at any announcement of a "baby on the way".
Isn't that just sad?
I mean, I am not looking for sympathy here. Quite the contrary. I just hate that it hardens our hearts to what should be such an amazing time for us.
That's why we are starting with a new beginning. Great things are to come. I feel the brush of angels wings, and I feel amazingly at peace, even though my heart has been crushed and broken time and time again. I just know that something absolutely beautiful is in our future. However, we have made the conscious decision to keep any "exciting news" to ourselves, at least for the time being. For our own self preservation. For us to avoid any type of negative comments or remarks. Frankly, we don't need them. We have been there, right in the center of it, so we don't need a constant reminder of it. Leave the negativity at the door, is basically my thoughts.
Just know that we are in a happy place right now. I believe that God is listening to our prayers, and just whispering..."BE STILL", so that is what we are going to do.
With each slight glimmer of hope, we have joyfully shared the news with our parents, our church family, our close friends...and even people we meet in our day to day lives. They get wrapped up in the excitement of the news of a new baby and make all kinds of plans and purchases with the greatest anticipation, and then... the bottom falls out, the rug gets pulled out from under our feet, and we are faced with another heartbreak and let down. With this last heartbreak, someone was in control of our happiness and our dreams. We put all kinds of trust and hope into someone elses hands, only to be hurt YET AGAIN!
Honestly, I hate what this does to us. It breaks our wills, our trust of others, and takes away our joy that we should have when it really does happen for us. We kind of feel like the boy who cried wolf, and that no one will even be remotely excited for us at any announcement of a "baby on the way".
Isn't that just sad?
I mean, I am not looking for sympathy here. Quite the contrary. I just hate that it hardens our hearts to what should be such an amazing time for us.
That's why we are starting with a new beginning. Great things are to come. I feel the brush of angels wings, and I feel amazingly at peace, even though my heart has been crushed and broken time and time again. I just know that something absolutely beautiful is in our future. However, we have made the conscious decision to keep any "exciting news" to ourselves, at least for the time being. For our own self preservation. For us to avoid any type of negative comments or remarks. Frankly, we don't need them. We have been there, right in the center of it, so we don't need a constant reminder of it. Leave the negativity at the door, is basically my thoughts.
Just know that we are in a happy place right now. I believe that God is listening to our prayers, and just whispering..."BE STILL", so that is what we are going to do.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Heartbreaking News
Hey friends. Just wanted to update you to let you all know that sadly, the adoption fell through. It was ultimately our decision, but as you can imagine it was a difficult one to come to. The little guy was born on March 21st a little after 11pm, and he was healthy. About 5 days prior to his birth, the birth mother became a little wishy washy after a heart to heart with the baby daddy. Supposedly, he had been manipulating her through this whole pregnancy, making her think that if she went ahead with the adoption that they would be able to start a relationship again when in all actuallity his plan was to hit the bricks as soon as the baby was born an he signed over his rights for the adoption. Although she wasn't coming right out to tell me that she reconsidered...my heart and gut just had that feeling. To be honest, I think that she expects to have a forever hold on him with keeping the baby.
I can't understand why the Lord takes us down these roads sometimes and why we face heartbreak after heartbreak...but I am keeping my faith that something better is just around the corner.
Thank you for your prayers.
I can't understand why the Lord takes us down these roads sometimes and why we face heartbreak after heartbreak...but I am keeping my faith that something better is just around the corner.
Thank you for your prayers.
Monday, March 5, 2012
In God's Time
Well, I know that I have been keeping some hanging onto the edge of their seats for this "so-called" big announcement. So...without further lingering...
In just a little of three short weeks, we will be welcoming a new addition. Our little miracle, thanks to the beautiful gift of adoption.
In just a little of three short weeks, we will be welcoming a new addition. Our little miracle, thanks to the beautiful gift of adoption.
We feel so incredibly blessed and are thanking God daily for this amazing gift. You know, it's crazy how you put so much into trying to have a baby. All the needles, doctors appointments, strict regiments to try to be successful. Then, after all the years and tears and heartbreak, God taps you on the shoulder and says, "I have better things planned for you". My wonderful husband says it best..."God doesn't work things out for the good of one, but for the good of MANY". This little baby needed a loving home. Parents who would adore and cherish the blessing of having a child of their own...even if their blood didn't flow through his veins. The birth mother of this baby, needed the reassurance that this little one would be loved and cared for and have what it needed, knowing that she couldn't provide that for him. Praise God that she didn't decide to terminate this pregnancy early on.
There is no denying that this is a little boy, and we have chosen the name: Dalton Kain.
She is scheduled to be induced on March 28th, so in just a little over 3 weeks, we will have a little baby in our arms.
I'm so excited and there is so much to share, but that is my announcement for today.
Thank you for your continued prayers during this time.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Big News Coming Soon!
I know it has been such a long time since I posted, than some of you might have even stopped following me.
BUT...
Don't go anywhere. We will be having some big news coming in the next few days, so stay tuned!
BUT...
Don't go anywhere. We will be having some big news coming in the next few days, so stay tuned!
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