We Interrupt this regularly scheduled FET...

So, Monday I went in for my Trial Transfer and hydrosonography. Trial Transfer went well, but something didn't look right on my ultrasound. Right there...slap on the side of my uterus, a 6cm fibroid! Wait...what? 6cm? Last time I had an ultrasound in that area (of course that was 2 years ago) it was only 3 cm. Yep, something that I wasn't expecting to get slapped in the face with, but here we are. The doctor says that he can almost guarantee that this is the culprit to our miscarriages and suggests that we have it removed before we move forward with our FET. It's hard to say how I am feeling, because I have a ton of emotions about this. I think my first emotion was anger when I heard that this stinking fibroid was probably the cause of our losses because I distinctly remember asking my prior RE if this would hinder our chances, to which he said "Many women have fibroids and this won't interfere with implantation!" Well, duh of course it didn't hinder implantation, but many studies prove that it does lead to pre-term labor, infertility AND miscarriages along with still births. Heck, this stinking thing should have been removed ages ago. I was also quite anxious and nervous about this news. The thought of a 6cm growth on my uterus that is going to requite surgery to remove? SURGERY? The only surgery I have ever had was having my tonsils and adenoids removed when I was a child. Although I was under anesthesia for my IVF Egg Retrieval I hardly call that surgery. Now, here I am facing the thought of being put under for what I have been told is a 3 hour procedure? I'm going to have little incisions on my tummy? And, although it is an outpatient surgery, I am going to have a rough week of recovery? Ugh...yes, to say I am a little scared would be an understatement. But I have to remember that God is in control. I think most importantly, the biggest emotion I am feeling now that I have a had a few days to let this sit and marinate with me is relief, understanding and that "ah-ha" moment. See, when you are told over and over again "We just don't know why you continue to have these miscarriages" it will about drive you insane. You know there has to be a reason, and yet no one seems to be able to give you that reason you are searching for. Now...thanks to Dr. M, I have an answer that I am ok with. One that truly makes sense to me without me pretending that it makes sense. I have once again the renewed faith that I am at the right place for us to be for this last shot at parenthood. This last shot with our two precious snow babies. And knowing that this doctor wants to be proactive and give me the best possible chance makes me more confident than ever that taking this break to get rid of this fibroid is worth putting our dream off just a few more months.

Night and Day

Is what it is like with my new doctor! I can't even begin to tell you how much I have enjoyed this transition and how much at peace I am with this final attempt. From the embryologist to the nursing staff to the front desk girls, this compassion is what I would hope that every women who is going through this journey gets to experience with their RE and clinic. Unfortunately for me, at my previous RE there was no good bedside manner, there was truly not sincere compassion and I felt like I was only just a number to them. But here, here at a place that just wraps you in their arms (literally, the nurse hugged me the first time she met me) I know this is where I should be and probably where I should have been 3 years ago when I started this route in my infertility journey. But, I am not going to dwell on what was and only focus on what is and will be. Hopefully next week or the following my little snow babies will be picked up and moved to WI and put to bed for just a short time until I can get to my transfer.

Here we go again...

It has been quite a while since I have updated my blog and even longer since it has been anything fertility related, but since I now have some news to actually update those who follow my blog I thought that I needed to get back into the swing of things. The update is that we are starting up to do one last FET with our remaining "snow babies". Because of my lack of confidence in my past RE, we decided to switch things up a bit and get a second opinion from another local clinic here in Charlotte. We chose The Women's Istitute and Dr. Marshburn. Since my consult with him on August 21st, we have pretty much been going full steam. He double checked my thyroid since Dr. C had put me on that previously. Low and behold my values were right where they should be according to Dr. M's nurse. Instructions were to stay on the Levothyroxin...it must be doing it's job! Dr. M also prescribed prometrium to help start up a cycle since mine tend to be a little absent when they shouldn't be. After 7 days of that along with the acupuncture treatments that I started the end of July AF showed her face this past Friday night making Saturday, August 31st CD1. YAY. Oh, but did I mention that we had an out of state wedding to go to over the weekend so that was just a delight to deal with while away and spending time in the car for 4 hours! Ha~ Anyway, I digress...unlike my prior clinic, this office actually closes for the weekends and holidays. Don't get me wrong, they do have a doctor on call, but it definitely isn't like my old clinic where if you start your period over the weekend, you can still come in for labs and an ultrasound if needed. I went ahead and called Saturday morning and thankfully Dr. M happened to be the doctor on call. He first told me to come into the office Tuesday morning for labs, but then retracted and told me to call his nurse Tuesday morning to see if I do need to come in. Long story short, I ended up going in during my lunch hour on Tuesday to get labs (only because my insurance requires it) and then I got my protocol and schedule for this FET. Yes....ALREADY! Talk about a big shock when she told me to start taking BCPs Tuesday night. So, here I am just 3 days into this and more than ready to get things rolling. It does seem that I will be on a long extended protocol (again because of the schedules for treatments at this clinic). It looks like my transfer will be the last week in October which makes 56 days from start to finish. On my past two transfers they were only about 41 days or 6 weeks from start of BCPs to transfer. I'm interested to see how this all pans out. But, since I actually have a reason to update I will be back quite often to let you know our progress...and as always, your prayers and thoughts are so greatly appreciated during this time.

Still juicing

I'm at work, but just wanted to give an update real quick.

I'm still juicing and so is DH. All is going well and the weight is finally coming off at a rate where others are noticing, not just me! I'm feeling so great and have amazing energy these days.

I do think that I will be deleting this blog though...just seems that I don't have anything "fertility related" to blog about these days. Hopefully that will change in the coming months when I have the insurance to be able to do one last FET, but I feel kind of weird having a fertility blog with nothing to blog about.

Juicing my way out of PCOS and maybe to a baby?

Is it possible? Juicing to "reboot" your body?

Of course we probably all remember those infomercials years ago with Jack LaLanne and his Power Juicer and all the health benefits that he tried to impress onto us.

 Back then I didn't really pay much attention, but I should have. Shoot, the man lived to be 97 I believe and was probably the healthiest person I ever saw at that age!

A few days ago I was doing some random searching online on different fertility boards and came across a forum somewhere regarding juicing to help aid in fertility. The original poster mentioned that after watching a documentary called Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead on Netflix, they felt inspired to start a juice detox, and then comment after comment women started speaking of their success with juicing and getting their BFPs or getting their irregular cycles to become regular again.

Of course this peeked my interest so I had to get my hands on this documentary or find it online. We don't have Netflix, so my fabulous DH found it on Hulu and we sat down together last night and watched it. All I can say.....

WOW!

I think that everyone needs to watch this movie....SERIOUSLY!

In short, this man Joe Cross who was overweight and suffering from some health issues went on a 60 juicing detox. By the end of the 60 days he had lost 84 pounds and then was able to get off all his medications. He also got another guy who was over 400 pounds who ended up losing 91 pounds in 60 days and also was able to get off his medications.

It got me to thinking...there is really something to this, something that makes a whole heck of a lot of sense. I was just about to tell DH that I was going to do this, when he looked at me and said, "I think we both should do this!" I was totally shocked that he was on board with this, especially since he doesn't have a lot of weight he needs to lose. He did say that we needed to wait until after Super Bowl! LOL

So, starting next Monday we will be doing a juice detox. We are starting with a realistic goal and planning on doing 10 days of juicing for all our meals as a detox. Depending on how those 10 days go we will either continue or stop, however we will continue to eat differently...HEALTHY!

Now, it goes without saying that I am not a doctor, and I can't tell anyone what to do. I suggest that you consult your doctor before you start any kind of detox, especially juice detoxing. Thankfully DH and I are relatively healthy with the exception of my PCOS and being slightly overweight so we are good to go with this juicing period. But, should you think about doing this yourself, please check with your doctor first.

I have got to tell you that I am so incredibly excited and pumped to try this. I can't wait to tell you all about it.

It's a New Year...welcome 2013

Well, it has been quite a long time since I blogged, and mostly cause the holiday's have been quite a hectic time in our home. We also haven't been doing ANYTHING on the TTC front. Matter of fact, we have done nothing the entire year of 2012. It's almost hard to believe that we had a whole year...12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days of absolutely NO fertility treatment.

Part of me is ok with taking this long of a break, part of me is disgusted that I let an entire year go by and didn't do anything to move closer to my hopes of having a baby.

WHY did I go without any treatment this year? Well, mainly for one reason and that one reason only...I have had no insurance to cover any type of treatments and medication. PERIOD. It's sad to base the fact of not moving forward with treatment on the fact that I had no insurance, but that is basically what it boils down too.

SO, with that being said, hopefully once I go permanent with this job I have been working (only for the past 7 months) then I will have insurance be able to start moving forward.

PLAN- Transfer those last two snow babies that we have.

Here's to a more productive 2013 than 2012.

4 Years

Four years...that's how long I have been married to my dear sweet husband as of yesterday.

Four years we have been trying to conceive our own beautiful little baby but still we're empty handed.

For 2 years we have gone through heartbreak after heartbreak of BFN's, BFP's and miscarriages.

For 15 years I have been struggling with PCOS and on a journey to conceive and not sure if I will ever see the light at the end of the tunnel.

For the love of God, is it too much to ask to have a baby of our own?