Planning while TTC...

“Let’s plan a trip for next year,” my husband says to me during one of our afternoon chats. Of course my response is “Sure, let me look into a few things, oh wait, what if we get pregnant before then?”

Seriously, am I the only person in this community who has this dilemma? Who can plan anything in the future when you are praying and hoping that your desire to be a mom comes true? We went through this last year when we started planning our cruise vacation. We booked it in May of last year after we returned from a cruise and at that time we kind of knew we were going to get back on the band wagon with our journey to conceive with a final FET with our last two embies. We had already had the cruise booked and so we kind of knew what time frame we had when we met with our RE in preparation for our transfer. Of course you know the saying, “man plans, God laughs.” That is pretty much how it went for us with that. We had our transfer a little less than 2 weeks before we set sail because of a few hiccups. At first I stressed a little about that time frame, but I should tell you that DH stressed quite a bit with fear that I would over exert myself while on vacation. I’m telling you, sometimes I wonder if this man really knows who I am? Me exert myself on a cruise? You have got to be kidding. That is a week of pure relaxation for someone like me. Other than a little walking around the island ports, I am kicked back and relaxed with a drink in my hand and the motion of the ocean soothing me into a state of pure euphoria.

Anyway, my doctor assured us both that as long as I wasn’t going to be doing anything crazy like riding a jet ski or a horse or doing a lot of exercise I would be more than ok…and he was right, I was. Actually, I think the timing worked out perfectly because any girl who has been in that dreaded TWW knows that nothing takes your mind off of what you are going through. This time it was so different for me. Prior to bon voyage, the cruise was all I could truly think about. I kept running through my lists of what I needed to have done and what I needed to pack. We also had another couple cruising with us who were first timers and I was focused on making sure this was going to be the best experience for them.

Sadly that pregnancy ended in another early loss and although we don’t have any snow babies left, we haven’t given up hope on our dream of having a child and have discussed options with our doctor on what direction to head in. With that being said, it makes us have to hold off on any big or long vacation plans in the coming months/year. We do have another cruise planned for after Thanksgiving so we know how to time for that but what do we do about anything past that?

I guess the good thing about this problem is that in those times when I start to lose hope of it ever happening for us, I just start thinking or trying to plan a vacation. It will bring me back to that point of... “What if we get pregnant?” Ahh, this is a true definition of the catch 22.

Is It Really 2014?

Goodness, It is so hard to believe that we are already into the 2014 year. It seems like I blinked and 2013 was done and over with. The holidays were good for us this year. Instead of daddy dearest coming North to spend a couple weeks with us in the Carolinas, we did a switch up and went South to Florida to spend a few days with him. It was a long drive down on Christmas Eve since Ken and I both had to work. Thankfully I only had a 1/2 day, but my sweet hubby had to work almost a complete full day. His scrooge of a boss was nice enough to let him get off a whole hour and a half early, so we were on the road at about 4:30 getting us to dad's at 1am! During our visit, I got to treat my hubby and my dad to a trip to the most magical place on earth.

That was really the most excitement that we had during our short visit with dad, and boy was it a full day! I think I wore Ken out with all the walking and rides and shows and showing him around the place. Of course he had been there before, but never at Christmas, which is definitely a must see! Oh, the three of us did go to the movies on Christmas afternoon to see Saving Mr. Banks. If you have not seen this movie, I highly recommend it! We all really enjoyed it. Tom Hanks plays and awesome Walt Disney. So, for the New Year we laid pretty low. We went to see a movie, Anchorman 2 and then dinner. We were home before 9pm and stayed up to watch the ball drop and then off to bed. I think we are getting old, but Ken just says he doesn't like to be out with the "amateurs". Oh, and to kick the new year off just right, I started my first injection of Lupron on the 1st! My last BCP will be tomorrow evening and then we await AF. We are officially getting this show started people, so stay tuned for more excitement.

Not the Thanksgiving I was hoping for

It's Thanksgiving, and between you and me, I must admit that it wasn't the Thanksgiving I was hoping for.
In January I was excited about the thought that we were going to have a new addition at the table this year. Of course, that was when I had just recently gone through my first attempt at IVF and had confirmation of pregnancy. Sadly, as you know, we miscarried in late January and early February. Yep, pregnant with twins and lost them both early in the pregnancy. After healing and coping with the heartbreak of having to go through that, we picked up the pieces, saved up some money and tried once again with a second FET in September.
Everything then seemed to be so right. Seemed to be like things were working the way they should We even had the transfer on Ken's birthday! Signs were everywhere, and we layed it all that the feet of the cross and trusted the Lord that we would not have another heartbreak. Again, we were pregnant (most likely with twins due to the high beta levels). I was so excited. Guarded emotionally due to the last experience with this, but just so full of hope and faith that we were going to have the baby we had waited so long for and prayed so hard for all these years.
We had already booked our cruise and timing again was perfect for the trip. I would just be into my second trimester and feel comfortable about going on a trip, especially a cruise. We had planned on sharing the news of our pregnancy today, at Thanksgiving, with family. Today I would have been 14 weeks today.

Instead...we were not able to celebrate that today.

BUT, we did have a great Thanksgiving meal and fellowship with my husband's family.

Despite the sorrows of this year, we still have a lot to be thankful for. Maybe, with the grace of God, we will have a different kind of Thanksgiving next year.

NOW, we get to head to Florida and get on a cruise ship for a week.

Our Cruise on the Carnival Dream

Well, I said that I would post my review of the Carnival Dream, so here it is along with some photos from our cruise vacation!
Let me start off by saying that my DH has been on 12 cruises on several different lines (Carnival, Princess, Royal Caribbean, Celebrity, Holland America) and this was my 3rd. With that being said, we are familiar with cruising and what is out there and although we knew that Carnival was the "budget" cruise line, we were intrigued by the Dream, in that it is a new ship and the largest of the Carnival fleet. We were sure that they would have stepped it up a bit with this new ship, but sadly...we were disappointed. Needless to say, this was our last cruise with Carnival.
Although this ship is larger, all that they did was increase the amount of cabins on board to gain more revenue for more people on board. The common/public areas were the same as they are on several other ships of theirs, and they aren't much bigger in square footage so there is more people packed into smaller areas for shows, comedians, dining and even pools. There was only 2 pools which seems ridiculous when this ship's capacity is roughly 3600 passengers. Which leads to another problem. The cruise director made the mistake of mentioning a few times during the week that there were 4500 passengers on board which made the ship OVER capacity by almost 1,000 passengers. What do you think would happen if we had a problem at sea and couldn't get everyone into lifeboats? Scary thought huh?

Embarkation was one of the smoothest either of us have experienced. My dad who lives near Orlando dropped us off at the port Saturday afternoon so that we wouldn't have to pay over $100 for parking our car for a week. Once we gave our luggage to the porter, we were through security, checked in and on the boat within 15 minutes! All of our luggage was at our room by 2pm and we were unpacked before our life boat drill, which NEVER happens.

The food on the ship was par. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't all that great either. We tried almost all the options, and there is a lot on board, especially for lunch. There is: lunch room (served food), general buffet, pasta bar (BEST LUNCH), grill (hamburgers, hot dogs and fries), pizza bar, deli, sushi, BBQ (not what you would think of a BBQ), Mongolian (GREAT TOO), Tandoori (Indian style food). As I mentioned, the pasta bar was the best lunch in my opinion. You choose your pasta, your sauce, your toppings and whether you want bread or a salad then it is brought to your table when it is ready. To avoid being boring, I'm not going to elaborate on the food, but I can tell you that I've had better food on other ships.

The shocking part was the entertainment, or lack there of. They kept stating that the production shows were multi-million dollar shows but honestly, I've seen much better at high school production shows. The music(singers) were, well...not so good. The dancers were hardly ever together making the choreography look cheap and choppy, and the direction of the productions was kindergarten rate. The comedians they had on board were the best entertainment for the evening. We made every show for them in the evenings (adult only shows, not the family shows) and always got there early because seats would get full quick! The karaoke on board was a big joke. I think they might have had 100 songs in their list, so if you were a karaoke junkie like us, you would be disappointed. The KJ (Karaoke host) had no personality and didn't involve the crowd at all, just simply called each singer up. There was one good band, called the blackjack band that sang in the Ocean Plaza each night and they were great. They did a lot of 80s cover tunes, a few country tunes and great dance hits too. As for entertainment to keep you busy during the day or events like deck parties and such, there was 1 deck party for a 7 night cruise, and it was a joke as well. We stayed for about 45 minutes and decided we could find something better to do somewhere, which we didn't...so we went to bed early that night (early as in 11:45pm).

I could go on and on, but I will not bore you with that. I will just suggest that if you are looking for a cruise and if you were considering this ship...or even this line, look somewhere else. I know that it is a cheaper line, but like what they say...you get what you pay for, right?

For our next cruise, we are considering the Royal Caribbean Oasis of the Seas. We have seen this ship several times before, but this cruise it was at every port we were at and each time we saw it, we just wanted to hop off our ship and join the gang over on the Oasis.

BUT, know that I am not complaining about being on a cruise. I was happy to be on a cruise and away from the cares of the world for a week. DH and I both needed it very much, and got to spend a week enjoying time together. I wouldn't trade anything for that!

 The was the view from our lunch table before we first boarded the ship!

 My sweet DH is prepared.

 Ahh, time for some relaxation in the Adults area - Serenity!

 The water in St. Thomas, USVI

 Me and DH riding the boat back to our ship in St. Marteen

The rear view of the Oasis of the Seas (our next cruise)

Tomorrow's my birthday and I hear Vacation Calling...

One year older and I'm so ready for this vacation!
I can hear the waves crashing and the sound of the horn from the cruise ship as we set sail to the Eastern Caribbean. In less than 24 hours I should be relaxing pool side on the beautiful Carnival Dream as we set sail on a much needed get-away!

I can't think of a better way to celebrate a birthday, however it is pretty bittersweet to me. I should be pregnant right now. Of course I always thought that by the age of 35 I would be a mom of two.

God has a plan, and I'm doing my best to put my faith back into that. I'm trying to see the future and what it has in store for me. A friend of mine tells me often that "Man plans; God laughs".

BUT, for the next week there is going to be no sadness, no talk of what has happened the past few months and no tears! We will be having a much needed time to ourselves with no distractions, no work and just loads of laughs, smiles and many new memories.
Everything is packed, the car is loaded, now I just have to wait for my wonderful DH to get off work and come get me so we can hit the road.
With good luck we should be at dad's by 11pm tonight (fingers crossed) and get some rest before we get up and head to Port Canaveral.

So, I wish I could take you all with me, but I will be sharing photos and video when I return.