Well, just a week to go until my beta, and honestly...I thought I would feel something by now! I have twinges, ever so slightly, every now and then, but nothing like what I had expected. I'm just feeling really nothing, but some bloating and the feeling of constantly being hungry.
With the nightly PIO injections my bum has gotten tender, but still not as sore I as I had expected, and strangly enough...they just really are no big deal anymore. Ken has gotten so good at giving me my injection ever night that most of the time I don't even feel it. It's actually kind of weird that something that I was so incredibly nervous about doing has just become second nature to me.
Last night we had a visit from our dear friend Christa and her daughter and their new little puppy, Jack Frost! It was so cute to see Savannah and Jack together. I almost wish that I would have gotten some pictures...maybe for their next play date! Christa brought us some wonderful beef stew and rice and salad. It was so yummy. I have some of the best friends in the world! I pray that God blesses them daily and that they know how much they are loved.
As for whether or not I will POAS...I'm pretty sure I will start that obsession Saturday morning. I had hoped I could hold out until at least Wednesday morning before my beta test....but let's be honest, I just can't wait for some kind of news...be it good or bad. Let's just pray it is GOOD!
Well, it's a new year and what a way for me to start off 2011!
Two days ago I made a huge change in my life...I put 2 beautiful little beans into my long awaiting uterus. Two beautiful AA blasts that grew from our zygotes that were frozen back on November 11th, one day after my Egg Retrieval. Looking back now, I am very ashamed that I had my doubts that any of those zygotes were going to grow to be a beautiful AA blast. I am ashamed that I questioned the hand of God, who I know has had his hand in this from day one. Not only did we have 2 beautiful AA's from the zygotes, we had 2 more frozen on Friday and one more yesterday. That makes 5 blasts that we have on ice, if we should happen to need them...of course we are praying that we won't need them, but it's nice to know they are there if we needed them.
Today, Sunday, marks the 2nd day of being PUPO! Ken has been keeping me in bed and taking such good care of me. Thanks to the generosity of some of our dear Christian brother's and sisters we have had meals delivered every single day, and enjoyed them so very much!
I will be back a work tomorrow, and have until the 12th before my beta test/results...but I'm pretty sure that my POAS obsession will start around Friday or Saturday of next week.
But, in th mean time...I just keep looking at the photo of our beautiful little "twins"
Well, just two more days to go until I'm officially PUPO and starting the 2ww.
I'm so anxious and excited for this day to come. It seems like I have been waiting for an eternity for it to be "the day" and it's just within sight!
I have chosen to take my last vacation day tomorrow so that I can get some things done around the house before I am sentenced to bed rest and closely monitored by my loving husband who is serious when he says..."stay in bed and don't even think of getting out of it for 3 days!" Coming from the same man who sat across the desk of the doctor and asked if I should have a bed pan while on bed rest! YES, I AM SERIOUS! GOD LOVE HIM~!
So, here we are, waiting for the call from the nurse letting me know how my little ziggies (as Ken calls them) are doing since thaw. Praying that they are growing good and strong for the big trip into my long awaiting womb! Thankfully we have two beautiful AA blasts that will be back up if there aren't good qualities from the zygotes. I'm just keeping that positive thought process going and telling myself that "This is IT!"
We did get some great news on Monday when my co-worker who is roughly 2 weeks ahead of me in this whole ugly IVF process declares her beautiful BETA results....POSITIVE...Beta of 760!!! I'm just so over joyed for her and constantly thinking of how it will be around the office with 2 pregnant women! What are all these men going to do? haha!
I am also looking forward to that massage I have scheduled Friday morning before transfer. Some women choose to do accupuncture before their transfers, but for me...my idea of relaxing is to get a nice massage. I'm so looking forward to getting some pampering in. I mean let me just say that after all of this infertilit stuff, and having to take injections and medications and doctor visits...I think that some pampering is in order!
Anyway, I have decided to take a hiatus from Facebook during my 2 week wait because I know that there is going to be a lot of temptation for me to POAS and share the results...but there are just some people I don't want to share that information with through Facebook. I think it needs to be a little more personal than that. Once those people know...then I will be back on FB and sharing the news; hopefully GOOD news at that! BUT, while I am on the break from FB, I will be blogging (both reading and posting) because I love it...and I think it will help me keep some of my sanity!
It is so hard to believe that we are only about 10 days or so away from our FET! I am getting anxious and nervous, worried and excited all at the same time!
It seems like I have been waiting my whole life just for this time, and I don't even know how to take it all in, but trust me, I want to take it all in and experience it all.
I'm up to the 4 patches of estrogen, changing them every other day. I have little sticky squares all over my tummy from where the previous patches were and I'm having a hard time getting it all off. I've tried everything and in return I've just been rubbing myself raw. At this point I have just told Ken that I will wait and get it all off at once (that is if I can find something that is safe for skin that WILL get it all off).
I thought I had done good with not catching any type of cold bug this flu season, especially seeing as everyone around me seems to have gotten something over the past several weeks...then this morning I wake up and I have that "scrachy" feeling in my throat, and I just know that something is coming around the bend! I haven't done any Vlogs in quite some time; I know, I know...I really thought that I would, but things have just been so incredibly crazy over the past several weeks/months that I just haven't gotten the time or the energy to go through all of that. Besides, I haven't even gotten a tripod yet for the camera, but maybe Santa will bring me one since I have been talking about getting one for months now.
That's another subject. Christmas is only 4 days away now, and my dad is up from FL visiting and I have been constantly in the kitchen baking and still haven't gotten ALL of my Christmas shopping done. I feel horrible that I haven't bought my husband a gift yet, but to be completely honest...I'm keeping faith and praying that our Christmas present shows up about mid January with a great big BFP!
Anyway, it's back to the RE on Thursday morning for an U/S and blood work, and I'm hoping that everything is progressing well. I'm still a little nervous about the fibroid, but then again, if the doctor's aren't worried then I'm not going to worry too much.
I do hope that you all have a safe and happy Christmas season. Enjoy this time with family and friends...enjoy the good food!
So, I'm plugging along, and on "The Patch"...the Estrogen patch that is.
I had a what I guess would be considered a "baseline" ultrasound and blood work on Sunday, Dec. 12th. The fibroid that the RE noticed on my two week check after Egg Retrieval is still there, and measuring somewhere around 31mm, at least I think that's what the doctor said who did my ultrasound Sunday. I was a little concerned about that, cause my fear is that it would hinder any implantation from the FET, but...I guess it doesn't concern any of the doctors and we were instructed to move forward.
See all the medication I will be on from here on out, some even well after the transfer until a positive pregnancy test!!
One of which is the patches that I got to start on Sunday evening!
These patches are going to be tricky I think. I start with one a day then every other day I take the patch(es) off and add another up until I have 4 at a time on which I will wear until a positive pregnancy test. Let me tell you, they are sticky little boogers.
I won't be going back in to the doctor until Dec. 23rd and then the real fun begins. I will start the pills (antibiotics, steroid and something else) and on Christmas day I will start the Progesterone in Oil injections!
Do you see the size of that needle? Since these are intramuscular injections, Ken will have to stick those in every day, and let's just say I'm not super excited about that.
Well, that's just a quick update. Christmas is drawing closer, my dad will be here for a visit in just a couple short days and I have SO MUCH TO DO!
As I sit here watching Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, I can't help but think of so many wonderful childhood memories watching those old Christmas classics, and wonder if next Christmas I will be watching movies like this with my little one.
I know there are lots to catch everyone up on, as I have not blogged in months, but seriously...life has just taken me one roller coaster ride after another. Let's see, we had 3 failed IUI attempts, and let me just tell you that I have beaten myself up over wondering why they didn't work. To be quite honest, it's really amazing to me now, after all that I have gone through and what I have researched, that anyone is ever able to "just get pregnant" by accident. I mean, just watching "The Great Sperm Race" proves just how much of a miracle the miracle of life really is. (see part 1 of 6 below).
Anyway, after those 3 failed attempts, we decided to move forward more aggressively to IVF, and trust me, no matter how hard I researched and thought I had prepared myself, I had no idea what I was beginning to get myself into. For example, I had researched so much into the difference between 3 day transfers versus 5 day transfers, and Ken and I had decided that we were going to push for a 5 day transfer, or 5dt.
After meeting with our RE, we soon found out that all our eggs would be frozen for a later transfer or FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). With being a PCOS gal, the doctor was super afraid of me developing OHSS and research had shown a greater success for doing the FET, as much as increasing our chances a whole 20%.
The plan; freeze 1/2 of our embies as zygotes and let the rest grow to blast stage (5 days) and then freeze those that are viable. I took Gonal F for stimming, Low Dose HCG daily and then did an injection of 80units of Lupron for my trigger prior to retrieval, which was November 10th at 9:30am.
The retrieval; not much to really say about this, as it was such a breeze. By this day though, I was totally uncomfortable with bloating and what felt like water retention. I began to worry about OHSS, but thankfully never developed it. Anyhow, I was given the "Michael Jackson drug" and was out like a light. When I woke up, I was in recovery. I asked the nurse how long I had been out....10 minutes. It felt like I had been sleeping for 10 hours, not 10 minutes. While I had my retrieval, Ken went to give his "sample" for our eggies to fertilize. By the time we left, we were told they got 26 eggs~~!! The nurse said she had never heard of them getting that many from a patient before...that's me, a RECORD setter. Although the day of retrieval was not feeling much pain, most in part due to the great medications given to me...however, the following several days were not too fun. I was severly bloated and every move was uncomfortable, but thankfully...NO OHSS! I was amazed, as was the doctor.
First Fert. Report; the following day we got a call from the RE. 23 of the 26 were mature, but we lost 6 due to an error on the Embryologists part. Apparently he had injected those 6 eggs with 2 sperm, which nulls those eggs. That left us with 17 fertilized eggs, so 9 were frozen as zygotes on this day, and 8 were left to grow to blasts. By the 5th day, only 2 had made it, but they were graded AA (the best possible grade). They froze those 2 giving us 11 in storage.
Fast forward 2 weeks from retrieval, November 24th. I went to see the RE for a recheck and see how my ovaries were doing. They were still large, and he noticed a fibroid, but nothing that concerned him, and gave me the ok to move forward with doing FET, which is tentatively set for Dec 30th. I was shocked though to find out that instead of transferring the blasts, he is going to thaw the zygotes, all 9 of them, 4 days prior to the transfer and let them grow to blasts, then transfer two of the best. If by chance they aren't viable by then, the blasts will be thawed and transferred instead.
So....that's the update, in a nut shell. I have one week left on BCPs, and I'm currently on Lupron (10 units daily), and then back around Dec. 12th for an ultrasound and blood work to see if we can start the Estrogen patches and the rest of this list of meds that I will be taking to prepare my "oven" for the "biscuits".
Today was 5dpIUI.
This 2 week wait is really going to be hard...because this time, more than ever before, I really believe that I'm pregnant! I know it is early...too early to know anything, but I just feel differently. Of course with the good timing and count, it just seems like we just hit the nail right on the head this cycle.
Yesterday and today I have had this weird metallic/acid taste in the back of my throat. Nothing like acid reflux, although I have never had it, DH has and according to him, it's nothing like that.
Surprisingly enough, HE is the one consulting with Dr. Google on my symptoms to see what he can find and wouldn't you know it, there are several forums that mention this as an early sign of pregnancy! REALLY? Even one of the recent pregnant ladies on FT even said that she started noticing that around week 4 and that it comes and goes. Yes I thought, it comes and goes with me too. I am feeling what is hard to explain as either serious bloating or feeling overly stuffed...like I sat down at the table and had too much to eat. And looking at me, you would think that too, considering that I have put on quite a bit of weight with the IF medications I have loaded myself with over the past 4 months or so. BUT TRUST ME, IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT!!
I guess tomorrow you would consider me halfway done with this long and dreaded 2ww, but I just see it as several days before truly knowing yes or no. The nurse said I should not test before Tuesday, the 7th of Sept...but DH's birthday is the 6th (what timing, I know). So, my thought process is to POAS on Sunday the 5th which would be 12 days past trigger and 10 days past IUI. It's a starting point anyway, and I will continue to test every day there after until my BFP....I just know it's gotta be a BFP this month!
