IUI #1...BFN, but keeping my eyes UP!

I know, I know..lots to catch up on.


We went in on Tuesday last week to have a BETA done, and sadly it was negative. NOT PREGNANT. It was very sad for me, but even more so for poor DH. He was so sure that we were pregnant, that when I had to break the news to him, he was pretty much devastated. It broke my heart because his heart was breaking. AND, once again, I felt like I was such a broken woman. I felt like all the numbers were in our favor, but yet I just couldn’t get the prize…a beautiful baby.

When the nurse called to give me the news, I asked her how long I should wait if I had not started AF on my own. I really didn’t want to have to go this route again, but I just didn’t want to be sitting around waiting for weeks if it didn’t show its ugly face. She said that if I had not started to have a period by Monday, then I should call and we would decide then if I needed to have a prescription to bring on AF again.

I prayed…I prayed to God that he would let my body work right and that AF would arrive on its own without any medication or manipulation. I prayed that God would forgive me for rushing His time last cycle. I prayed that with his grace and mercy he would prepare my body for another round of pills, injections and medical intervention and assistance to ovulate and conceive a beautiful healthy baby.

God answered my prayers! Friday morning on my way to work I had some alone time, just me and God. Again I prayed to bring me AF, and about an hour after arriving to work…it came. THANK THE LORD. It sound so weird praying for that, and being thankful when it arrives, but believe me…I was thankful.

Sunday was CD3, so off to the RE we went for the usual…ultrasound and blood work. We got the call that everything looked good, and we were told to start the same regime as last time; 5mg of Femara for 5 days (CD3-CD7), start 50iu of Follistim on Wednesday and take that from CD6-CD12 and then return on CD12 for follow up blood work and ultrasound.

I’m keeping my faith, as always, and staying very optimistic that this will be the one for us. As I mentioned earlier; when I apologized to God for rushing him…I feel that I did. When I took the prometrium last cycle to try and bring on AF, and then AF never arrived but we went ahead with treatment as though it did. I am truly believing that it was not in God’s time, and I should have realized then and listened then. I’m praying that since my cycle started on its own this time, that it’s a good sign of what’s to come.

I’ll keep you posted!

The Difference Between 2 Shots

Tuesday night was my 1st shot of Follistim. In the morning I wasn't so worried or nervous but as the day went on and the hours flew by the anxiety started to sink in. I don't know if it was a mix of the anxiety or something else, but while we were on our way to meet dad for dinner, I suddenly got very dizzy. I was feeling like I was on that old fair ride The Gravatron (do you remember that ride?) I reclined the seat and closed my eyes hoping that would help, but it didn't seem to do the trick. I felt weird for the rest of the drive. Even thinking about it now makes me feel queasy. Thankfully when we started to eat dinner I felt a little better. Who knows, maybe my body was telling me it was time to give it some nourishment.
Since my shot had to be given at 8pm, and we were in the car on our way home...I had to give myself the shot while riding in the car. I was so nervous and anxious that I was holding the injection pen and ready to shoot 10 minutes before 8!! When it finally came time to do it, I stuck it in my tummy and realized I never set the dosage dial....HELLO...boy did I feel stupid!
Anyway, after setting the dosage dial, I stuck it in again and it was a piece of cake! I felt so proud of myself for giving myself this injection that was going to help us become pregnant. I really felt on top of the world.
That feeling didn't last long though....
Within 15 minutes I was feeling loopy and not myself. DH actually said that I sounded like I was drunk. I think that he is just saying that though, because I don't recall that being the case. Then I started to feel very tired. When I got home, I changed clothes and crawled into bed. For the next hour and 1/2 I could  not get comfortable. I wanted to lay on my side, and I couldn't. I'd lay on my back then I'd get a sharp pain in my right side, but it would only last a few seconds. A few minutes later I would get a sharp pain on my left side that would only last a few seconds. FINALLY, I fell asleep...thank goodness!
Frankly I started to think that this was God's way of saying...."your dosage is enough, don't question the doctors and most of all, don't question what I can do!" You see, since Saturday when they gave me my dosage information, I had been struggling with it, I just didn't think it was "enough" to do the job. Now I know, that I shouldn't question what I am being told in regards to this medicine!

Last night's injection went so much smoother. No reaction at all. I was so thankful to Him. Since the start of this journey I have given it all to Him, except for Saturday-Tuesday when I was questioning this medicine dosage. He showed me I needed to trust in Him again. To have FAITH! This little baby will be our miracle from Him, and we have FAITH that we will be greatly blessed.

I have 4 more nights of injections, but I can handle it. I just keep praying that those little "follies" grow and become strong eggs for.

Update...the ride has started!

Ok, once again I know that I have slacked on updating this, but I have just had so much going on. I have got to manage my time better.


Anyway, I WAS able to get into the RE’s office this past Saturday morning for blood work and an ultra sound. Everything looked good and I stared my Femara (5mg) Saturday evening. I will take that for 5 days, making Weds. my last night of that medication (CD3-CD7). I start 50ui of Follistim on Tuesday night (tonight). The nurse said that it was very important that I take my injection at 8pm every night for 6 nights. That would be Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I go back in on Monday, June 21st which is CD 12 to see how I have progressed with the medication. I have to admit, I have been driving myself crazy about what seems to be a low dose of Follistim because just about everywhere I have read women usually start out at 75ui for six days. This was driving me nuts so bad that I called the nurse yesterday just to make sure of the dosage. The nurse confirmed that I was definitely supposed to only take the 50 due to my PCOS. They don’t want to risk the chance of me over stimulating. I have to admit, I’m kind of hesitant about this. She did say that if after my ultrasound and blood work on Monday it looked as though I needed more, then I would be put on more Follistim at that point. Goodness, I hope not. I want to be ready at the right time.

Anyway, I have been taking the Femara for 3 days now, and let me just say that this is SOOO much better than the Clomid ever was. I don’t have any of the bad side effects I had when taking the Clomid. I pray that all of this is going to do the trick.

I’ll keep you posted!